A Sticky End

It's official. I'm a yuppie now; a young, urban professional. Who'd have thought it would come to this?

Fun thing to do to amuse yourself while slogging through endless CBTs: put your laptop power brick up to your ear. Really, try it. Mine makes this awesome crackling electrical noise that sounds precisely like the equipment in Dr. Frankenstein's lab.

I now have a company credit card, a Diner's Club. I have absolutely no idea why, as I don't exactly entertain clients. I'll use it maybe once or twice ever, if I go on a trip to a client site. Still, it's pretty.

Poll: how long will it take for my body's clock to adjust to the new schedule? I can hardly sleep at night and it's killing me.

Odds and Ends

Looks like most of my coworkers are married with children, or shortly to be so. Which means we might have somewhat different tastes in weekend and after-hours activities. It's not a huge problem, but it does mean I'll have to reach a little further out into the company to liven up my nightlife. Oh well. I can do it.

I hadn't immediately realized just how wooded the campus was: if I walk over to the window and look down, all I can see is endless treetops along the creek bed. Really, really pretty.

Turns out that Cerner uses Rational ClearQuest for bug tracking. All you Design Studio alumni can say a little prayer for me.

Used Uncle Ben's rice bowls go rancid with astonishing rapidity - just one of them managed to stink up my entire apartment after just a few days.

Any of you I haven't heard from since I moved down here - why the hell not? It's not like I've got much to do all night long.

Bah

It's too bright in Kansas City. I can hardly see the stars, much less pick out constellations.

I have a futon and a bed now, and I'm hard pressed to decide which is more comfortable. Also went on a pretty decent shopping spree this weekend, acquiring the rest of my furniture and significantly augmenting my wardrobe. There's more to be done, of course, but I think I can put together a pretty passable apartment at this point.

Word of the Day: My bank tells me that one of my purchases was made in Overloverland Park. I'm not kidding.

Any Port in a Storm

Finally met my boss, and found out (in a general sense) what I'll be doing. It seems that the Advanced Architecture folks do the interfaces, APIs, web services, and other such glue between the existing Cerner Millennium backend and the new web-based frontend. My sub-group now has a grand total of three people, including me, so I have a feeling that they need all the help they can get. That, and they said as much.

Turns out that said boss is the very same man who first interviewed me for the job a few months back. I'm on his team because he specifically requested me. Which is, for starters, extremely flattering. But the reason why is even more intriguing: I'd mentioned to him (in all honesty) that I really enjoyed teaching and prided myself on my ability to explain things in an understandable matter. Unsurprisingly, people who write middleware have to do a lot of that for the engineers writing the layers immediately above; and equally unsurprisingly, a lot of the current geeks don't much care for it. So yay me, I guess.

He also made the well-no-kidding suggestion that I ought to max out my annual 401(k) contributions, particularly in light of Cerner's stock matching. But, when I looked into how much that would be, the answer is a full 25% of my gross income. Gulp. I'll probably do it anyway, but I really need to do some more budgeting and figure out how much I really need to, y'know, live.

At least renter's insurance turns out to be cheap - I can live with $18 a month.

Looks like I'll be mostly using WebSphere Studio Application Developer, which is a superset of the Eclipse IDE that I (and maybe some of you) are already familiar with. So that's a help.

In marginally more interesting news, the weekend of UNL's fall break could be interesting: Rusty and Jesse might come down, but I also got a request from the Three Wierd Sisters to stay at my place while they go to the Kansas City Renaissance Fair (to which I can get cheap tickets if anyone else wants). Wonder how many people I can fit in my apartment. Guess I'll find out.

Donations of posters or other accessories for my uber-bare apartment still welcome.

Sweet, Sweet Silicon

I have a laptop again! Yay! I went almost an entire five days without one, and it almost killed me. A Dell Precision M60, very nice. (I can't tell you much about the software without getting, y'know, fired or something.) True, I can only use it for business purposes, but still, it's the thought that counts. Being able to get work done from my couch is invaluable.

Finally get to meet with my manager tomorrow and, with any luck at all, find out what I'm really supposed to do. True, he hasn't actually managed to send me a note saying when/where to find him, but I have great faith. At least I have all the important things in hand - an email address, my network passwords, an access card for the door, that sort of good stuff.

I haven't found myself too overwhelmed yet, despite the vast quantities of information, and repeated assurances by the Cerner trainers that I ought to be. Maybe I'll feel differently once I finish with the approximate month of CBTs (Computer Based Training) that I have in front of me. The prerequisite structure resembles a fractal. Interesting sidelight on the Cerner culture: they think that if you're at any one job longer than two years, something's wrong. I'm not sure but I think I like it.

Yesterday was the official Autumn Equinox. I noticed as I was driving to work that the sun was rising in the dead center of the street as I drove east, just as it should be. Too bad it doesn't feel much like fall yet. Needs to cool off.

Furniture finally gets here Saturday (some of it, at least). Anybody want to help me assemble a futon? Please?

011000

I'll get to the other stuff in a second, but the important news first: I have Associate Number 011000. For a brief moment, I thought they were assigned in binary (24?), but no, I just got extraordinarily lucky in sequential assignment. I feel like I ought to get some sort of door prize. It's a very good omen regardless.

So apparently I'm going to be in the Advanced Architecture group of the Applications Architecture division. I have absolutely no idea what that means, nor am I likely to until this Friday. Presumably it's a bit more prestigious than Beginning Architecture...

For a company whose goals include eliminating needless paperwork from the health care industry, they sure do make their employees fill out a ton of paperwork relating to insurance. I hope they appreciate the irony.

I didn't think through things clearly: I commute to work against the main flow, out of the city center in the morning and back into it in the evening. So I never really have any traffic. It's awesome.

Far be it from me to stare out a window during orientation, but there's such a gorgeous view outside. All you can see is the river flowing past and the trees on the opposite shore. I'd want to build a house there; if there wasn't already a conference center, that is. It's the old Sam's Town Casino, if any of you Kansas City types care.

Note to self: drink something basic, like milk, after eating a pizza, lest you go to bed with a nasty case of acid reflux.

Wish You Were Here

Just a quick dispatch to let y'all know that I arrived safe and sound. I've basically spent the last two days unpacking. I don't own nearly enough stuff to fill this apartment, or even make it look like someone lives here. Everything had vanished into cupboards and closets already. Need to buy some more posters, I think.

The comedy of furniture continues; my dresser and nightstand will be two weeks late. It seems that a hurricane hit their factory. At least I'll get my bed and futon on time. And speaking of which, I think I'm going to put my bed against the interior wall, as I'm tired of hearing my neighbors' televisions. It's not that the walls are all that thin, but they both have their TVs up against the common walls, and watch them until the wee hours. Oh well. Screaming children would be far worse.

I've been unable to locate any decent grocery stores nearby, so it's time to start asking around. The nearest Walmart and Best Buy are each about ten miles away, which sucks. But that's not too awful of a trip by interstate. Until today I hadn't been to a Walmart before, say, midnight in months, so I'd rather forgotten that other people shop there.

I scoped out my training site today, which is at Cerner's riverfront conference center, not the corporate campus proper. I had thought it was in a converted riverboat, but it's actually in a converted power plant. An extremely gorgeous location, regardless. Looks like my commute will be about 15 minutes (without traffic), and I can avoid the interstates if necessary. There's also a ton of fast food places on my way to/from work, so I'll be able to grab some dinner there if need be. Maybe I should look for a grocery store in that neighborhood, too...

But mainly, I've been bored out of my mind, and will likely continue to be so for a few weeks. So please, please give me a call or instant message sometime.

Equinox

My flu's getting better, I guess; it's migrated down into my throat. Every now and then I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Which, on further reflection, might be a good thing.

We're finally, finally entering autumn around here. It's my favorite season by far, and it's high time. You walk outside and it's cooler than you expected, but not quite cold. The wind always seems to be blowing, and it's clean and refreshing. I think that the color of the leaves in the fall is one of the most beautiful things in nature. Maybe I'm just biased because it's the season I was born in.

Actually, it's more than that. I think it's much easier and more enjoyable to get warm when it's too cold, then to get cool when it's too hot. Wrapped up inside a blanket is like my natural state. In fact, though it'll sound freakish, I get a bit of a thrill during that stage of a flu when you can't regulate your body temperature properly and you feel too hot/too cold by turns. Being out of control like that reminds me of being drunk or being on a rollercoaster. Terrifying, yet awesome.

It occurred to me the other day that I'll be living in an area with no trees in sight, yet working on a corporate campus with so many trees that it's practically a forest. How's that for a reversal? At least there's trees somewhere. I think I'd go nuts if I couldn't look out a window and tell immediately what season it was. That's why I could never live in one of those parts of the country that don't really have seasons. How is my mind supposed to mark time?

The final move to KC is this weekend. I hope I can manage to get some sleep and readjust my sleep schedule; it's 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM each and every day. Maybe once I find out who my boss is and what my project is, I can readjust my hours a bit. 9 to 6 sounds far more palatable.

Assuming my desktop and cable modem end up working properly, message me next week, please. I'll be super-bored in the evenings, with nothing much to do except put things away, and no furniture of any kind. Not to mention bored in general, at least until I can manage to meet some people. It's not nearly as easy as I think I sometimes make it seem...

Nearly the End of All Things

Went to Kansas City this weekend and unloaded much (actually, most) of my stuff there, but came back to Lincoln to a) care for the cat while my parents are out of town, and b) say goodbye to my friends. Not necessarily in that order. For the sake of privacy I'm not going to post my new address and phone here, but if you don't have it yet, mail me directly.

So yeah, my new loft. If it were somehow possible, I would definitely hump it. It turns out to be very nice. Not huge (around 850 square feet), but it feels like it, thanks in no small part to the 12 foot ceilings. Somebody get me a trampoline. Everything is modern, as it was renovated only five years ago, and apparently in very good condition. For $650 a month including utilities and parking, I think it's a pretty decent deal for downtown KC. With any luck at all I'll be pretty happy there.

I bought a bed and futon (and other stuff) up at Nebraska Furniture Mart in Omaha. Now, they have a branch in KC, so they can deliver anywhere in town, only $45 for up to seven pieces of furniture. A good deal, I thought. Then I discover that the NFM down there doesn't offer twilight delivery - that is to say, after 5:00 PM. And guess who's going to be in training every day until at least that time? That's right. I get to spend the first week in my apartment sleeping on the floor, yay! The employees up in Omaha couldn't believe it, and neither could I. After dropping $1,200 you think I could get a bit better service.

Some things in life, however, are immediate: there was already an AOL disc waiting for me when I got to my apartment.

Coming down with a cold, as is everyone in Kauffman, probably not coincidentally. So I get to have watering eyes as I drive south, and sniffle/sneeze my way through my first week of work. Wonderful.

As I was walking home from dinner on Saturday night, there was a violinist playing next to the Broyhill Fountain. I found it quite pleasant, even if James decided they were playing a dirge for the (losing) Husker team. UNL has always suffered from a surplus of crappy outdoor bands, and a shortage of good individual performers. Somebody should fix that.

C'est la vie

Been too busy living life lately to talk about it. But these things are cyclical, and I'm sure it won't last.

Leaving for Kansas City tomorrow to take the first carload of stuff down; there'll be another next week. Be back Monday night.

Urban Spelunking

I've always had a passion for places that are out-of-the-way and forgotten, or are abandoned entirely. I got to experience both in the course of the evening.

I spent most of the night with Jesse at the State Fair. Now, the fair is pushing 150 years old, and most of the buildings feel as if they've been around nearly as long. They've got nondescript architecture, plain interiors, the sort of cracked and peeling look that comes with the benign neglect of only being used once per year. Or not neglect even, just a total lack of the renovations that one usually sees in other buildings of similar vintage. And the whole park's like that, so large that nobody can really be familiar with all of it, with lots of areas that are rarely seen or whose purpose has been largely forgotten.

At one point, we found ourselves sitting in a remote corner of the beer garden. I noticed a row of folding chairs neatly stacked along the wall - and covered with cobwebs. Later, I noticed that all of the ugly, ugly tables (barely more than planks) were resting atop the frames of antique sewing machines. Marvelous.

Later, I was walking back to my car from Kauffman at around 2:00 AM. I managed to walk all the way to the Haymarket without seeing or hearing another living soul. Now, bear in mind that the home football season begins tomorrow, and I walked right past the stadium, so signs of preparation were everywhere. Traffic cones were up, food vendors were in place and ready to sell, the stadium lights were on. But no people at all. The banquet was set but no one had yet arrived to eat it.

It's strangely exhilarating to walk through a huge section of an urban area and find it utterly abandoned. I've only done it once before, and that was in Venice. If you are the only person in a place, then you own that place, as surely as if you held the deed.

Beermann's Guide to Barhopping in Downtown Lincoln

So yeah, a lot of my friends will be turning 21 this year, and many of those while I'm not in town. To save me making the same speech over and over again, I'm going to set down my basic tips for going to the bars. Most of them probably apply everywhere, but you never know. Here goes:

1. Get the special. You should always ask what the nightly special is, and you should usually get it. Unless you're a complete snob, it should be something pretty drinkable, and far cheaper than anything else you could possibly buy. After a while, you'll start to develop a mental map of which bars have which specials on which nights of the week. Use it.

2. Get the specialty. A lot of bars have a particular drink that they're known for, and they're known for it because it's really good. So if the place you're at has one, try it.

3. Beware covers. There are only three reasons a bar should ever have a cover charge: live music, dancing, or an utterly incredible special. If none of these appear to be going on, you're getting ripped off. Moreover, you should be going to the bar specifically to do whatever it is they're charging cover for; if you don't care where you go, keep walking. Most bars that are going to have a cover start charging at 9:00, so if you arrive just before that you get in free.

4. Beware lines. I can assure you that whenever there's a long line outside a particular bar, whatever it is they're all waiting for probably isn't worth it. So if you see more than a few people, keep walking. You came downtown to drink, not stand around outside for half an hour.

5. Keep going back. Many of the bars downtown have backyard patios, upstairs, downstairs, or areas that are not otherwise visible when you first enter. They also tend to be a lot less smoky and crowded than the main bar area. So it's usually a good idea to keep moving towards the back to check things out.

6. Chill out. It's no sin to stay at the same place all night, particularly if your goal for the evening was to sit and talk with your friends. So don't feel the need to move along until you're not having a good time anymore.

Housekeeping

My CSE account is officially dead, which means that mbeerman@cse.unl.edu is too. I can no longer receive any mail sent to that account, and it'll start bouncing soon. I'm going to miss it after these five long years. In the meantime, you ought to use mbeerman@yahoo.com instead.

Chinese fortune cookie I received today: "You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly."

Stranger in a Stranger Land

I stopped by the Health Department this morning to get the results of my annual HIV screening. Still negative after all these years. Yeah, I know, condoms and all, but they aren't foolproof, so it's still a good idea. Interesting yet disturbing: along with the results, they give you a free, ten minute phone card. Wonder how many minutes you get if you're positive?...

Anyway, in the waiting room, a social worker was talking to two men and their families. I think they may have been from Sudan, but it's hard to say, as Lincoln is an INS resettlement community for a number of different countries. They were fresh off the proverbial boat; only one of them spoke much English, and neither seemed very clear on where their new houses were or what state they were in.

It seems they were there to receive complete physical examinations, the results of which they'd have to take to the social worker next week. The children, she warned them, would have to receive five immunizations each. And they'd probably cry.

The sociologist in me was facinated by all this. Despite living in a community with a large immigrant (and refugee) population, I haven't had much contact with them. How does a person cope with the culture shock of moving to a new country, much less fleeing to a new country? What are the legal hoops they have to jump through? What are the steps necessary to acclimate them to their new lives, and whose job is it to do so? How do they go about finding jobs? Do they like it here or not? I wonder such things.

Fun fact: there are two, four-way intersections a block apart in the Haymarket. One has four stop signs reading "FOUR WAY STOP"; the other, four stop signs reading "ALL WAY STOP". I feel as if we're being test marketed somehow.

In Full

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

A Beginner's Guide to Atlantis

There's absolutely no good reason for this post, other than (as the description of my blog says) to exorcise something that's been knocking about in my head for a while. So without further ado, I give you an introduction to Stargate: Atlantis.

Millions of years ago, there existed a race known only as the Ancients. They were basically human in appearance, though they possessed certain powers that we do not. They might be our distant ancestors, or simply a previous evolution of the same form. Regardless, they called Earth home, and from our world they explored the galaxy.

Wherever they travelled, they would create colonies. Each world was connected to every other by a system of artificial wormholes that can transport matter instantaneously over almost any distance. These are the "stargates" that form the focus of the movie and television series.

Eventually, having completely explored our galaxy, the Ancients turned their attention elsewhere. They decided to visit what we now call the Pegasus galaxy, after the constellation where it appears. And not being ones to do things halfway, they took an entire city from Earth with them. This city, capable of interstellar flight, was known as Atlantis.

When they reached the Pegasus galaxy, the Ancients settled upon a watery world and began to explore again. As before, they established many colonies and built a network of stargates to connect them. But eventually, they explored too far, and encountered a vampire-like species known as the Wraith.

The Ancients' pride was their undoing. Never expecting to meet their match, they were unprepared for the Wraith, whose technology was equal to their own. Moreover, the Wraith were vicious and amoral, difficult to kill and nearly immortal, feeding upon other intelligent beings to sustain themselves. A long war ensued, lasting untold centuries. One by one the colonies fell, until only the original city of Atlantis remained.

Knowing their doom was imminent, the surviving Ancients chose to enclose their city within a vast energy shield and sink it to the bottom of the ocean, in the hopes that it could escape destruction. Then they fled back to Earth through the Atlantis stargate, the only one which could reach our galaxy, here to live out the remainder of their days. It is from them that the legends of Atlantis began, a great city that fell beneath the waves in a single night.

In the years that followed, the Wraith gained total domination over the Pegasus galaxy, thanks in part to the Stargate network. The Wraith hibernated for centuries at a time in their hive-ships, occasionally waking to "cull" millions of innocent lives. They subjugated the various human worlds, which they referred to as their "feeding grounds", and made certain that none would ever advance far enough technologically to threaten them again.

Ten thousand years passed. Through a series of events too lengthy to recount here, the people of Earth rediscovered the Stargates, the Ancients, and eventually, the location of Atlantis. A team of scientists from around the world was chosen for an expedition to the lost city. Their enthusiasm was tempered by the knowledge that, because of the tremendous amount of extra energy required for an intergalactic jump, they might never be able to return home again.

Upon arriving, the team found the city intact and perfectly preserved, just as the Ancients had left it. But their arrival posed a problem: as the city reawakened and powered up, it strained the nearly-depleted generators which had maintained the energy shield for so many centuries. When it failed, the water would rush in and destroy the city for good.

Luckily for the team, the Ancients had forseen this possibility. As the generators began to shut down, a last failsafe kicked in: the city raised itself back to the surface of the ocean. After so many years, Atlantis saw the light of day again.

But all was still not well: during an early mission, the Atlantis team managed to awaken the Wraith - all of them - years ahead of schedule. The scientists of Earth lack the technology to recreate the Ancient power sources, leaving the city unprotected. It is only a matter of time before the Wraith realize that their old enemies (or the descendents thereof) have returned, and come to Atlantis to destroy all who stand in their way.

This sets the stage, then, for Stargate: Atlantis. The series follows the adventures of the Atlantis team as they explore the Pegasus galaxy and search desperately for a way to defend themselves from the Wraith... before it is too late.

Both Sides

Republican National Convention started today. I really think that they missed something by not nominating Senator McCain four years ago, or even this year for that matter. It's very possible that I would have voted for him.

The questions I ask my friends are often the questions that, consciously or not, I want to be asked myself. Sadly, none of them ever figure this out.

In a society that permits free speech, there's really only one thing that shouldn't be permitted: detachment or indifference on topics of great importance. Grow opinions, people.

Here's one now: you deprive yourself of much in life if you can't enjoy a thing without comparing it to every other such thing you've ever experienced. Recent example: certain acquaintances of mine who are unable to visit or even discuss the Nebraska State Fair without comparing it to other state fairs, amusement parks, exhibitions, and god knows what else. Just loosen up and have some fun, seriously.

Tom, they still carry a torch for you back here in Lincoln.

Save the World Entire

For a long time I've been fascinated by the "Righteous Among the Nations", a title given by the Yad Vashem foundation to those who saved Jewish lives during the Holocaust. It is, I believe, the highest honor that Israel can confer upon a non-citizen.

Of course, the concept is much older than that. In the Jewish tradition, Righteous Among the Nations was an acknowledgement that even among the Gentiles, there were plenty of good, honest, honorable people. Perhaps they even believed in the same God, just in a different way. Christian philosophy (sometimes...) admits the same point, but it's hazier and I can't think of a succinct term for it.

I worry more and more that this simple realization is being forgotten in modern politics. Any time someone issues a blanket condemnation of a large group (liberal, conservative, or whatever), they're essentially denying that there could be any righteous people among those that they disagree with. I know I harp on this a lot, but it preoccupies me: how can there ever be constructive debate when you don't respect the person you're debating?

Sometimes I tell a friend that they're a "good person". I don't think they realize I'm referencing a much larger concept. Really, it's the greatest compliment I could possibly give.

More Things in Heaven and Earth

So, there used to be this company called Broderbund. They made games, really good games in fact. But the best and most famous was Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? Among other things, that game introduced me to an idea that I've since realized is universal: a thing that is sought after but never found; or found, but cannot be kept.

Maybe just a bit profound for a five year old, but I honestly think that I recognized it as something important, in a vague way, even all those years ago. The theme certainly shows up everywhere in the movies I see (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) and the books I read (Foucault's Pendulum). It's related to, but not the same as, Hitchcock's MacGuffins: I'm talking about goals that do hold some inherent meaning. There's also a lot of aphorisms along the same lines: not the destination but the journey, means are more important than ends, getting there is half the fun, etc.

As I get older, though, I find myself questioning more and more this received wisdom. In particular, the motif of finding-but-not-keeping is NOT something I want playing out in my personal life, as I've complained loudly and bitterly to many of my friends. The destination is important, and if you never expect to reach it, then the journey itself becomes meaningless too. I hate it when I feel like I'm perpetually one step behind something and can never quite catch up. It doesn't motivate me, it just depresses me. And it needs to stop.

I'm probably being too abstract here but I think y'all can connect the dots.

Still Not Dead

...I've just been spending a lot of time at Kauffman, trying to compress a year of seeing my friends into a single month, now that they're all back. Right now I'm sitting in the lobby talking to Graber while he plays all manner of French music. Soon I'll go across the street to harass Bob while he watches my copy of Goonies. Ah, college. Ah, nostalgia.

Oh, yes, and I've been replaying Final Fantasy IX. Such a good game.