Animals are people too

So, Cerner trumpets its "people-oriented" architecture, and it's true: the Person table is the central item in our database, to which all other tables are connected. I was, therefore, incredibly amused the first time I noticed there was a column devoted to species. Someone finally clued me in to our veterinary clientele. At Cerner, it's literally true: animals are people too.

I swear it hasn't been this long since I posted last. I think maybe Blogger ate an essay or two. I've been living a relatively uneventful life. Went to the Mid America Freedom Band's concert last weekend, and tomorrow I'm off to my very first Royals game with my entire department in tow. And spending a lot of time with someone I don't have to mention here. :)

I hear UNL's getting out in just another week or two here, and people are scattering to the four winds. If you're going to be anywhere near the midwest this summer, my door (and couch) are always open.

Internet Archaeology

I've spent the past few days trying to locate and get in touch with a variety of people: roommates from college, friends from high school, and a few from even further back. Google's been invaluable in this respect, of course, and it's good to stretch my information mining muscles. But you know what's been even more useful? ICQ.

Anyone younger than me is probably literally too young to remember it, but it was the ur-IM, predating AIM, Yahoo, and MSN. And it was way ahead of them in a lot of functionality, notably and handily, the auto-archiving of all messages. Very few people I know use it today, but it was and is very popular in Europe, and with a slightly older generation of Net users.

So I've been perusing through my hundreds of old contacts, looking for email addresses, scribbled notes, clues in message logs, and the like. Already found one roommate, now working at a hotel... in Beijing. (If you're reading this, hola, jefe.) Another search has taken me through the organizational remnants of the Howard Dean campaign. Not to mention the National Forestry Service, the english department at the University of Chicago, and a food company in Tulsa, OK.

It's been a lot of fun, actually. I'm tempted to say I need to lose people more often, just so I can have the pleasure of finding them again.

Holy Matrimony

(Yeah, yeah, I know I haven't been posting often enough. Just been busy and happy lately, I guess.)

Spent the weekend in Lincoln, mainly for Adam Brehm's wedding. And a lovely wedding it was too, but then, I'm a sucker for them. The church was just a block from my parents' house, and packed fuller than I've ever seen it. Almost standing room only. I'm pretty sure their entire fraternity, sorority, and every living relative was there.

Oh, and it was a big old JDE reunion, too. Saw Mark and April, Mike, John, Cody, Dan, and a dozen more. It's so relaxing to run into people you've know for years - easy to slip into all the old patterns. And it turns out that Black is living in Kansas City now, too. I know you're not reading this, but I'll be giving you a call soon.

Stevenson will be pissy at me if I don't mention that it was his birthday, too. Decadent dinner at the Oven. And he got a bottle of amarula. Unusual stuff; if you've never had it, hit him up for it.

Much as I might love spring and thunderstorms, driving home through a torrential downpour for three hours sucks. So does being so far off the ground that you can't hear the rain from your bedroom. Being downtown is nice, but I need to get back to somewhere green eventually.

Spring in the air

So apparently half the trees in Kansas City are pear trees, because they're all blooming in brilliant white just now. I've been informed, repeatedly and emphatically, that they're Bradford pears, though no one seems to know what the distinction is. I do: the pear trees back home smelled nice in the spring, but these things smell like urine. Wikipedia suggests either rotting crab meat, or a cross between jasmine and dog vomit.

They've been building these strange concrete columns across from my apartment, where you coem off the bridge into downtown. They're finally finished, and it turns out they they're covered with these banks of lights that flow and shift colors in complex patterns. I have no idea what they're for, but they're sure hypnotic to watch.

Went to a choral concert tonight, the Heartland Men's Chorus to be exact. It was all religious music, with narration by special guest Rev. Mel White. Really good music, and they had some sharp words about the gay marriage amendment that's up for vote in Kansas on Tuesday. Their next concert, in June, features the music of Kander & Ebb - Cabaret and Chicago, most famously. Turns out that John Kander is a KC native, and will be in attendence. Cool stuff.

I have an SUV

No, seriously, I do. It's like this: my car's in the shop this week, so my insurance company gave me a rental. But they had run out of the car I was supposed to have. So, they gave me the next smallest thing in stock at no additional charge: a Mitsubishi Endeavor. And true to form, it's enormous.

Seriously, I feel ridiculous just driving around in it. It's not even fun, reminding me of nothing so much as my parents' old minivan. Worst of all, it behooves me to gas it before I return it, and that's going to be a pretty penny. I'd like to think I evened things out by riding to lunch in a friend's new hybrid Honda Accord. But still. Ugh.

Stargate Atlantis: Season Two

The following are my wild speculations about things that will occur during the second season of Stargate Atlantis. As long as you've seen everything up until the season finale, there shouldn't be any spoilers:

• We'll find out much more about the creation of the Wraith. The team has speculated, but their guesses don't feel right. In particular, how much were the Ancients involved, and was it really an accident?
• Why did the Ancients have a nanite virus lying around that kills humans but leaves Ancients alone?
• Are the Wraith only able to feed on humans (and no other species)? If so, is this a nod to their origins?
• It's been hinted at, but to what extent exactly are the Wraith able to read the minds of their victims while they feed? Did they all wake up en masse because they'd found out about Earth?
• Do the Wraith have a hive mind? How do they breed?
• We know the Atlantis stargate wouldn't do the Wraith much good; it's hardly a practical way of transporting their entire population. So if they got their hands on the city itself, or otherwise determined the location of Earth, how long would it take them to get there? How would Earth's defenses stand up?
• To produce their seemingly endless supply of ships, the Wraith must have factory worlds, a la the Death Star; we might get to see these bases.
• If the team is able to get their hands on a fully-charged ZPM, not only will the shield be up, but we might just get to see the city fly.
• And here's the most outlandish one of all: remember the episode with the spider-like cousin of the Wraith? Remember how it didn't much like salt water? Well, maybe the Ancients submerged their city for a particular reason. What a world, what a world...

For the record, I cheated a bit and watched the season finale already. It rocks. Don't miss.

Random explorations

Another weekend of wandering the town at random, poking into obscure corners. Discovered an unmarked but very pretty little park just where the Kansas and Missouri Rivers join, and then that there's a pedestrian footbridge hidden underneath the I-70 bridge. Rather a lot of natural beauty right in the middle of the city around here, you just have to go looking.

Also went to the Kemper, KC's premier modern art museum. Saw lots of things I liked, but the most stunning was Editing in the Dark, a series of movies that loop continuously, with a plot but no beginning or end. Melancholy stuff, too, yet there's no dialogue. Couldn't stop thinking about it for hours afterward.

Finally saw Finding Neverland. Excellent stuff, quite a bit of the audience was sniffling by the end. It must have been a really good year in movies for it to get next to nothing in the way of Oscar considerations. Mr. Johnny Depp might be in danger of overexposure, though, with at least three more films that I know about coming out this year: Pirates of the Caribbean 2, Willy Wonka, and... Corpse Bride?!

Random observation on Wednesday: the equinox is almost here, because the sun was setting just slightly south of true west.

Things that are obvious in hindsight: one of my down-the-hall neighbors moved out today, and I should have seen it coming. Why? Because there's been an abandoned box of Macaroni & Cheese sitting in the hall for days, which frighteningly enough, is absolutely the first even mildly unusual thing that's happened at my apartment since I moved here.

Well, except for that Apple Studio Display I saw in the dumpster the other day. Presumably busted, but I still almost dived after it on pure instinct.

A wierd one

I really don't dream that often, maybe once every week or two at most. And when I do, they often tend to be extremely mundane. So last night's was unusually fun: the dream was more or less a pilot episode for WKRP in Cincinatti. It bore little resemblance to the original, except that they were auditioning hilariously incompetent staff. The really odd part was that the tycoon who owned the station was named Leopold Senghor, who's a famous African poet from Senegal. Except in the dream, I was convinced he was the grandson of a famous Impressionist painter. So what, precisely, is this supposed to say about my subconscious?

Strangely enough

I hear a lot of scuttlebutt at work, of course, but today's was the oddest in a while. Apparently the Oklahoma State basketball team was practicing in our company gym today, ahead of the Big 12 Tournament. And our CEO was seen giving a chancellor-type the grand tour - turns out he's an alumnus. Small world.

More explorations

As I was reminded, there was more to my weekend ramblings. I'd assumed there must be some way to get to the river itself from the River Market, and indeed there is. From a back corner of the neighborhood, a newish and well-lit pedestrian bridge leads over the train tracks to an observation deck some fifty feet above the river. That alone would be pleasant enough, but stairs lead down to the waterfront itself and a very singular scene.

On the one hand, there's a brand-new trail extending in either direction. Signs and empty concrete slabs announce a planned restaurant, entertainment wharf, interpretive center, and ecological restoration station. Sidewalk markers in the River Market lead you to the area, and the trail connects at either end to the existing network.

And yet. There's garbage - and worse - everwhere. A number of homeless men are plainly inhabiting the area. There are empty shells of collapsed buildings, and the remains of a ruined overpass leading nowhere. Plastic fences are trampled, and concrete barriers suddenly give up, allowing unfettered access to the trainyard.

In essence, it's urban renewal in a very early stage, started but far from finished. I've never seen an area quite like it before. Like a lot of places in Kansas City, pleasant enough in the daytime, but probably a bit dodgy at night. More information is available at the - ha! - Kansas City Port Authority.

An embarassment, also of riches

As many of you know, I live near Kansas City's River Market, much like Nebraska's Haymarket or Old Market. Yet I must sheepishly admit that I've never actually been there, despite living here nearly six months now. The only lame excuse I can offer is that it's been cold, rainy, or otherwise unpleasant nearly every weekend this entire time. Today was the first Saturday I actually felt like walking around a historic district shopping.

The verdict? Wow. What took me so long? I'm surrounded by an orgy of unusual and interesting stores, nearly all of which I'd actually consider buying something in (normally about one in ten in the larger world). I plan on spending my weekends doing things like this a lot more often now. Highlights included:

* The River Market Antique Mall, all 30,000 square feet of it in one building. I staggered out with a sort of nauseous capitalism overdose, convinced I'd seen one of every good produced in the 20th century.

* The Planters Company, four contiguous storefronts devoted to every possible outdoor/gardening good imaginable, like a compressed Earl May. And on top of that, an entire room devoted to freshly ground spices. I almost wet myself just smelling it.

* An Italian import/gourmet grocery, an organic food store, a wine shop, multiple coffeehouses, and weekly farmer's market (in the morning...) that I just missed.

* A used bookstore with two cats, as all good bookstores should have. Though, for some reason, neither of them had tails...

* Oggi Modern Furnishings, an orgy of unapologetic (and overpriced) modernism that's probably Kansas City's closest stab at those places they go on Queer Eye. Good for getting ideas, then finding them cheaper somewhere else.

Just in general, an envigorating sort of day. I'd nearly forgotten that I actually enjoy shopping - in the right kind of store.

Should have read my horoscope

Yesterday was not a good day. Overslept. Woke up and used the bathroom, and then noticed that the toilet was backed up. And I didn't have a plunger. Then I checked my email and discovered my solution manager had called a meeting on short notice, which was actually starting just as I read the message - at home. It's a wonder I didn't steer the car right off the bridge.

Petty Identity Theft

So I got a letter today from my bank, stating that I had been turned down for a loan. Funny thing is, I never applied for one. In the modern day and age, that's a rather scary thing.

I had a nice little chat with corporate headquarters, and eventually determined that my local branch had rather badly fucked up some paperwork for overdraft protection. So, false alarm. But still. Stopped my heart for a minute there.

My Funny Androgyne

So last night, I was treated (or perhaps subjected) to the Late Night Theatre, an apparent Kansas City legend. They're a troupe of actors who do musical parodies of the best and worst movies ever made. The nearest analogy I could make might be to a Rocky Horror cast with broader horizons. Their home is a tiny, grungy shoebox of a theatre downtown that only holds a few dozen people. As a result, it's a very intimate evening of entertainment.

The show? Purple Rain. Now, it's been a long time since I've seen it, and I've never been the biggest Prince fan, but the show was absolutely hysterical all the same. I'm told the casts are usually all-male with lots of drag, but this particular show was all-female with lots of drag. Which, if you're playing Prince, isn't all that much of a stretch. It's pretty risque, too, with some full-frontal nudity, and I hear there's been worse. Not for the faint of heart or ear.

Shows for the remainder of the year include: Rockula (The Hair Band Vampire Musical), The Bad Seedling, Supermodels in Space (The Wrath of Madeline Kahn), and The Valley of the Dolls. There's a show going on nearly every weekend, so add this to the list of things I'm more than happy to do with my guests.

It begins...

I was wondering how long it would take for the people I went to school with to start getting married - in mass quantities, at least. Just got a wedding invitation from Adam Brehm & Ashli Eickman, who I can recall pestering about their inevitable nuptuals for years. And it's a block away from my parents' house to boot. Congratulations, guys.

Poor Design

I finally had the distinct pleasure of visiting Manhattan, KS, and the distinct misfortune of visiting its one and only movie theatre. I'd heard the stories, but it's even worse than I thought:

* It only shows the most generic, commercial blockbusters. Of the numerous Oscar nominees currently in wide release, not one was showing.

* Despite (or perhaps because of) Manhattan's status as a college town, there are no student discounts whatsoever. Cash only, too.

* Nothing at the concession stand is priced in $0.25 increments, so there are nickels and dimes everywhere.

* The aspect ratio of the individual theatres is off; they're too long. Despite having fairly standard screen sizes and stadium seating, everything's too far away from the screen. From the topmost row, which would be an excellent seat in many theatres, you would hardly be able to see a thing.

* I was informed that some of the older/unrenovated rooms have completely flat floors, rendering any row but the first few useless. This may have something to do with their previous existance as gymnasiums.

* There is only one exit leading out of the theatre, one exit from the building, and a single driveway leading out of the parking lot. It's one bottleneck after another (not to mention a fire hazard).

Just craptastic all around. And Constantine is as ho-hum a movie as I'd predicted. Oh well. It's always nice seeing Matt and Steven. Happy Birthday!

Word of the Day

Coulrophobia

Reviews

Saw a couple things this weekend. First was Sideways, the latest from Alexander Payne (Election, About Schmidt). It's up for about a zillion Oscars. And on top of all that, it's pretty damn good. One of those very, very rare romantic comedies that actually feels like it could happen. Highly recommended. Rusty, if you're reading this, I can see the two of us reenacting it someday - I'll let you decide which of us is which character.

Also watched all fifty-one episodes of Full Metal Alchemist, thanks to a kind donation from Mr. Stolee. Reminiscent of Evangelion in a lot of ways, including the sudden left turn and plunge over the abyss near the end. Catch it on Adult Swim some evening, and if you like it, hit up Derrick-san.

Burned some bread in the microwave tonight, sending a huge plume of smoke into my apartment before I noticed it. Neither the sprinklers nor the smoke detector went off. Which is lucky in a way, but also a bit disturbing. What would set them off?

Random musing: is there a metaphor to be had in the fact that the time on most clocks can only be adjusted forwards?

Last but not least, Blogger has a new comment interface, so now you anonymous people can leave your names (hint, hint).

One for you, nineteen for me

So it turns out I'll be getting my first tax refund ever this year. $523 from the feds, $171 from the state of Missouri. Not a fortune, and it'll all go straight to various bills, but better than a kick in the groin.

Amazing!

Last night's finale for the Amazing Race was really good (of course), but they dropped the real stunner at the end of the show: "Stay tuned for scenes from our next season... Three weeks from tonight, eleven new teams will begin a race around the world..."

What an embarassment of riches. It's almost unheard of for a reality show, or any show for that matter, to start a season so soon on the heels of the last. Among other things, it means that CBS will be betting its spring sweeps on the show. Guess all those Emmy awards and climbing ratings are finally paying off, eh?