Make that REALLY frightful

It's been snowing continuously since noon, and shows no signs of letting up. If anything, it's getting heavier. Methinks I sense a work-from-home day tomorrow...

But the fire is so delightful

First snow of the year here tonight. Not much, pretty dry, won't stick around. But still nice.

Was in St Louis this weekend. Saw Wicked, which was a pretty amazing show. Two huge doses of Broadway in the same month! Unusually, even though I'd listened to the soundtrack, there were still some surprises on stage for me. I'd highly recommend it if you ever get the chance.

Tomorrow: house looking!

This weekend: Narnia!

Rent

I just got back from a critics' sneak preview of Rent. I'll be honest: I cried more or less continuously through the last half-hour or so of the film. True, musicals tend to have that effect on me, as I've admitted in this space before. But still. It had the same effect on Adam, who'd never seen the show on stage or listened to the soundtrack.

It's a date movie. Go with someone you love. You won't get lucky afterwards, but you'll feel lucky.

Need sleep

You know you're getting tired when you wash your hands with toothpaste, and don't notice til afterwards.

Equity

So I'm finally, reluctantly, inching my way towards the choppy waters of home ownership. It is by no means a done deal, but there's a decent chance that in 2-3 months time, I'll be buying a house.

This probably isn't the best time to be doing it, coming at the tail end (?) of a huge rise in prices. But I really don't have the luxury of waiting. And since interest rates are due to rise again in the next few months, it's better than waiting.

So far, the biggest adventure has been on the financing end of things. As a recent college graduate with no real debt to speak of, my credit record is clean but very short. Lenders would almost rather have someone with a mountain of debt, because then they know you are willing, able, and accustomed to pay, pay, pay. I got it all accomplished in the end, but a national security clearance would have required less paperwork.

As for what kind of house, and where... really no idea as of yet. Kansas City natives are welcome to submit suggestions. I'll warn you, Johnson County is probably right out. I could barely afford a broom closet down there.

Music and Movies

Whew, almost back to the present!

This weekend was Adam's band's fall concert. It went really well, I think, and the band sounded great. Matt and Steven happened to be down in KC, and got to hear it. Maybe he'll write up a review in his blog (hint, hint).

Also been seeing a ton of movies lately, after a long drought. Tis the season, I guess. Good Night and Good Luck: thoughtful and engrossing, so much so that I swore the theatre smelled like cigarette smoke afterwards. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Not quite as amazing as the third installation, but still very good, especially towards the end.

Tomorrow night I'm off to see a sneak preview of Rent, a film I've literally been waiting years for. All through my junior high and high school years, it was the show, the one everyone owned, memorized, and quoted at length. Kauffman kids should probably use Holy Grail for a comparison. And they got the original Broadway cast back together for the film. You could say I'm looking forward to it.

Coming soon: Chronicles of Narnia and Brokeback Mountain, not to mention Wicked in St Louis. "It's the most wonderful time of the year..."

What is this, a freak out?

So my company has these trips they send engineers on. Clients hire us to provide temporary, round-the-clock tech support while they're going through a new installation or major upgrade. True, it wouldn't usually be the most effective use of an engineer's time. But their position (and I would tend to agree) is that at some point, all software engineers should have to sit and watch people actually trying to use their software.

The practical upshot of all this is that I spent a week in York, PA working 12-hour night shifts, wandering a gigantic hospital looking for users with problems. After a while, you enter an altered state of consciousness and the hours just fly by. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone on a particularly regular basis. The consequences to your sanity might be... unfortunate.

On the bright side, I know a heck of a lot more about how hospitals actually work than I used to. Which, working at a company that makes software for health care, is probably a good thing. But I probably could have accomplished the same thing on an eight hour shift rotation...

The one good thing about York? It was just a few miles down the road from Hershey. If there's a heaven, I hope it's a lot like Hershey. The whole town smells like chocolate all the time. And at 25 cents a bar, it's dirt cheap. I brought back a couple of cases worth. If you ever find yourself in the Baltimore/Harrisburg area, I would highly recommend the trip.

No, I'm not dead

...I've just had a busy couple of weeks. Sorry if I've let you down. I'll see if I can catch y'all up.

Halloween: Adam and I went to a Halloween party dressed as Katrina and Rita. If that doesn't earn you a direct ticket to hell, I don't know what does. We had hats piled high with clouds, assorted dangling debris, misting fans, Mardi Gras beads, and of course, pitchers of Hurricanes. Won the costume contest, too, though I don't really remember too much after that. I always mix drinks a lot stronger than I intend to. It's a gift.

Birthdays: Mine was pretty uneventful. Cafe Trio is yummy. My parents and my brother both decided to get me wine, apparently without any coordination. And my favorite gift, believe it or not, was the terrycloth bath robe. The kind they give you at really nice hotels and spas. Everyone should own one.

Derrick's birthday up in Lincoln, on the other hand, was pretty darn eventful. First the boy's team wins the ACM regional programming contest, and then he polishes off 21 shots worth before it's even midnight. Last we saw him, he'd passed out on his bathroom floor. My sources tell me he eventually woke up, but I'm waiting for independent verification.

Anyway, congrats to Derrick and his team, and good luck at the internationals in San Antionio.

Mandy's post

Bob and I are visiting Beermann. It is a grand time. Jah is not dead. I love manders. She is pretty much the most exciting thing ever. in my life. I like her....a lot. Some day we are going to have a big fucking dog. I want to give the dog a hard-ass sounding german name. Mandy would probably like to name it Taylor or Gus...something dumb like that. Klaus is a much better name i believe.

Ok, so that was Bob obviously. I don't care what we name our dog, but it will most certainly be a big dog - like a black lab or golden retriever. Beermann took us to a nice Italian restaurant. Then we went to a fun bar - Tanner's - and saw some punks get kicked out. We had some yummy beers. Now we are back at the apartment, and I am about to have a Godiva chocolate shot.

See, Beermann thinks that his life gets boring at times. But this is exciting. He's showing some young kids what KC is all about. He's helping me experience the city, because - who knows - I could live here after May!!! So, to all of you who wanted a blog update, I have helped that dream come true. Good night to all, and to all a good night!

Fest #2

The Kansas City Renaissance Festival.

Or, as I call it, total sensory overload. Sixteen acres. Hundreds of artisans, and as many performers wandering about. A dozen stages with constantly rotating acts and seemingly every high school choir in a four state area. Pubs. Wenches. Sword fights. Let's just say that it's a lot to take in.

A few of you will know what I mean when I say that the festival is organized like Majora's Mask: a schedule that repeats each day, with multiple intersecting storylines that meander across the grounds before finally rejoining at the end of the day. I'm a little embarassed to admit that I'm tempted to get a season pass one of these years, just because it would take multiple visits to follow them all. To make matters worse, it's one of the few places in the world I regularly get hopelessly lost.

They put a lot of effort into these things. They have apprenticeships that go on for months, their costumes must be historically accurate in composition and material, and they have scripts so that they can stay firmly in character at all times, and so forth. A bit obsessive, to be sure, but not inherently moreso than, say, D&D. Remember those kids who were big into drama when you were in high school? It's just them, a bit older but still children.

Favorite find: A solid wood tankard, lined with ceramic inside. They're beautiful and highly functional. That pint of Woodchuck never tasted so good. Ordering

I'll leave you with a few random pictures from the Festival, culled from their vast yet terribly organized website: 1 2 3 4 5

Fest #1: Beer

Oktoberfest. Or rather, Kansas City's slightly warped take on it. The main points were all there, I suppose. Gigantic tents, polka bands, fraulines carrying trays of beer. But past that, it was more like a state fair that happened to have a particularly large beer garden.

I suppose I can't blame them, but they forgot that it really wasn't supposed to be a family-friendly event. It's supposed to be a celebration of BEER, damn it all. Their selection was narrow, overpriced, and extremely mediocre. Empyrean Ales used to throw a far superior fest, god rest their souls. Oh well. Anybody want to go to Free State sometime?

Other assorted highlights:

• Blinking LED steins
• The Darth Vader nutcracker
• Runzas
• Pig races
• Povitica
• Getting completely smashed for the first time in a long while

Current Readings

Stopped in at Barnes and Noble tonight. I'd rather forgotten that they stay open until 11:00 each and every night (including the cafe), making it my kind of place.

Picked up all seven volumes of the Nausicaa manga. It really wasn't much of a leap of faith, between my adoration of the anime and my friends' raves about the comic book. I'm going on vacation next weekend, and I'll need quite a bit of reading material. It should do nicely. Might have to drop it off afterwards at the desk of a comic-obsessed but American-centric coworker...

Also picked up the first two volumes of Neil Gaiman's Sandman. I think that Gaiman is one of the most interesting authors writing today, and he made his name with Sandman. Very broadly speaking, the stories follow Morpheus, the Lord of Dreams, who is somewhere between the protagonist, antagonist, and narrator. Gaiman did the writing, but there was a different artist almost every issue (rather like American Splendor). If you get into graphic novels at all, this one is VERY high on the list.

PS: Added bonus for Final Fantasy fans: Gaiman recently collaborated on a graphic novel with Yoshitaka Amano, most famous as the character designer for nearly all of the FF games. You know that characteristic look of the game's logos, very dark and flowing? Well, imagine a whole book like that. It rocks.

PPS: Turns out he also wrote the English script for Princess Mononoke, meaning that everything in this post is actually related to everything else.

BDO

Someone (and I wish I could remember who) once proposed that a subjective but useful measure of a historical figure's importance is their "fertility", in the sense of the number of other people they inspire. Philosophers are probably fond of this one, for obvious reasons.

I'm surprised that the same criteria isn't more often implied to technology. (Well, it is, but usually subconsciously, not explicitly.) The Internet, yeah, but really all of the most important inventions of the past 500 years or so have been related to communication, transportation, or both. Increasing contact between people is the single most important thing any invention can do, because it spawns still more inventions.

I was pondering this while trying to figure out why the Stargate, an archtypal Big Dumb Object, manages to be such an enduringly popular fictional artifact that you can hang an entire TV series from it. I'm guessing it's just the logical next step along the continuum of communication and transportation - and for extra bonus points, it's both at once. Making it the most useful plot device ever.

Purgatory or Limbo?

Cooling my heels in the Albuquerque airport. It's a good thing my second leg is late, because I would have totally missed my connection otherwise.

When, exactly, did free wireless access become a universal airport feature? Sometime in the last two years since I did a lot of flying, I suppose.

Spending the weekend down at Rusty's in Phoenix. If you've got any messages for him, Tom, Amy, et cetera, et cetera, let me know.

But nobody's home

If my apartment's management merely slipped letters under vacant apartment doors, they'd be absentminded at worst. But it's the fact that they also put letters under the door of the electrical closet that pushes them into the realm of hilarious incompetence.

More Wedded Bliss

Went to (believe it or not) my very first gay wedding today. The bride and the bride were both quite lovely. One was of African descent and the other Irish; as such, there was both handfasting and jumping the broom; the latter ritual turns out to be common to both cultures. Very cool stuff.

The White Crows

(Apologies in advance for the horrible mangling and simplification of science and philosophy and the philosophy of science. Clay may never forgive me.)

So, it's a general principle in science that it's impossible to reason your way from observations to absolute truth; you can disprove, but you can never prove. No theory in all of science is ever beyond question. To take the famous example: you've seen a great many crows in your life. They've all been black. Can you therefore conclude that all crows are black? Of course not.

I think it's pretty much the same story across the hall in philosophy-land. There, you don't worry so much about what can or cannot be observed, but there are still axioms, and they are never beyond reproach, and yadda yadda yadda you get the idea.

What I really wanted to say was that I miss the white crows. You know, the experiences that cause you to completely reevaluate what you think and start over from scratch. It happens all the time when you're young, but these days, I can't think of the last time I saw a white crow. Which is a pity, because it means that the patterns of my thought are staying basically the same. Which sucks. You're either learning or you're dying.

Thought at a wedding

When the bride walks down the aisle, the photographers are invariably snapping away madly at her. But I think they miss an even better image: the look on the groom's face.

Tommy Lee

So I just got done watching the first two episodes of Tommy Lee Goes to College, and while it's always nice to see your alma mater on television, I'm afraid it just doesn't work.

Obviously, it's intended to be a "fish-out-of-water" show, but they just didn't think it through. Tommy Lee is a painfully nonfunctional human being in any situation. Much like Ozzy and Anna Nicole, just following him around on any normal day would be liable to produce scenes of utter absurdity. Putting him in a college setting is just plain confusing, like you'd asked the bear riding a unicycle in a tutu to also escape from an underwater straightjacket while he's at it.

So is it entertaining? Occasionally, vaguely, and seemingly in spite of itself. I'll probably watch it anyway for the "I know that guy!" factor, but I don't expect any Emmys. Other random observations:

• They more or less managed to match the correct exterior and interior shots together, which is kinda impressive, since of course they didn't have to. The major exception being...
• Neihardt? My ass. I wish there'd been a room that huge when I lived there. I could almost believe it was some room I'd never seen, right up until the kegger. Uh huh. Funny how they glossed over the dry campus bit.
• The staff in general, and the professors in particular, come off shockingly well. They obviously managed to ignore the cameras and hullabaloo far more than I'd have expected.
• Did they take any of their own exterior/aerial footage, or did it all come straight from the recruiting office? The campus has never, never looked so good.
• Three full hours of free, primetime, network television commercial is a pretty good deal, but I bet they're not entirely happy about the timing. Classes start next week; by the time people are actually applying for next year, the show'll be long forgotten.
• The show is also a commercial for Tommy Lee's new album, but I wonder if that'll backfire. Above and beyond the unfamiliar equipment and styles, it doesn't seem too wise to depict your star as a man whose drug habits have obliterated any musical talent he might have had.

More Good Movies

There's a couple more movies I'm looking forward to that I forgot to mention before. With trailers:

Proof - that rarest of things, a movie about mathematics. I'm not sure whether my math major friends will be entertained or dismayed by it. But I saw it on stage a few years back and it rocked. (September 16)

Corpse Bride - Finally, the sequel, more or less, to The Nightmare Before Christmas. Only took a decade or so. We must have been very good boys and girls to get two Tim Burton films in one year. (September 23)

Serenity - Joss Whedon's utterly amazing TV series, Firefly, finally comes to the big screen. (September 30)

The Fog - remake of the 1970s John Carpenter horror flick of the same name. I've considered it a forgotten gem for a long time; apparently somewhere else is too. Hope it manages to be as atmospheric, no pun intended, as the original. (October 14)

The Chronicles of Narnia - Nuff said. (December 9)

And the trailers I neglected to link to last time:

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - November 1?

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - November 1?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - November 18.

Rent - November 23.

Pro-?

Construction begins on a new cathedral. They haven't managed to put up more than a few stones when the project is cancelled. It will never be built; we'll never know what it would have looked like.

Elsewhere, a sudden earthquake strikes an existing cathedral. The walls tumble, and all trace of it is rapidly erased. No one will ever get to see it again.

Which of these two situations is the more tragic?

There are no right answers, of course, but I suspect your gut feeling might predict some very important opinions...

Needlessly inflammatory

Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland.
It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty.
Out of the abyss walked a cow -- Elsie.
I asked if she had anything to drink.
She said, "I'm forbidden to produce milk.
In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke."

Heady Times

I just realized that this November is going to be my personal entertainment apocalypse. Not only are Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess coming out, but so are Rent, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and Brokeback Mountain. That month also happens to be my birthday. Coincidence? I think not.

Somehow

I ranted a while back about how I wished that more screenwriters would dare to change the ending when they're doing an adaptation. But I forgot the prototypical example, which I saw tonight: West Side Story. It reenacts Romeo and Juliet, scene for scene, right up until the very end, which is dramatically different. In a way that makes it far more tragic than the original. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's high time you see it.

Speaking of, it must be a good musical to survive the ritual slaughter that is community theatre. I swear, the orchestra experienced some sort of collective musical puberty on stage. As Adam put it, "SomeWHERE A key for US"...

Code Insomnia

Oh, so that's why I don't code at home after work - I'd almost forgotten until I did it again last night. If there are any issues still unresolved by the time I go to bed, and there usually are, then I can't sleep a wink. I'm debugging and simulating in my head and it won't let me rest. Augh.

And Ever, Amen

So, one of my favorite anime series is Revolutionary Girl Utena. Even my anime-inclined friends can't seem to get into it, and I'll freely admit it's pretty strange. But it gets weird in a very serious sort of way towards the end. It's almost as much of a mind-fuck as Evangelion, as a matter of fact. But anyway.

One of the show's major themes is eternity. More specifically, the question of whether anything in this world is truly eternal. Nearly every character is obsessed with finding a way to be remembered forever, or dwell forever in some happy memory, or find some way to cheat death. Not among those is the title character, Utena. And thereby hangs the tale.

We see, in flashbacks, that both of her parents died suddenly when she was very young. She hides in a coffin, wanting to die, wondering aloud why we are born at all if it is our destiny to die. She is visited by a "prince" who, somehow, breaks her depression. Utena's life is profoundly altered by the experience, but what did he show her?

(Minimal spoilers) Near the end of the series, we discover that Utena was presented with a vision of eternal suffering, that the prince himself was powerless to stop. The little girl vows that someday, when she's grown, she'll find a way to become a prince herself and save the one who is suffering. In adulthood this gives her an untouchable sort of nobility that all of the other characters admire; indeed, it's what makes her the heroine of the series.

I was going somewhere with this... oh, right. I've always seen this all as a metaphor for relationships, somehow. We fall in love with people in part because we hope it will last forever, even though we know it can't. And sometimes the suffering from a failed relationship can last far longer than the relationship itself. Some people despair, but others seem to have a reservoir of strength. I have a lot of friends I could file into each category. What is the difference between them, I wonder?

Pairwise

Note: this is a very old series of thoughts, and NOT inspired by any recent encounters or particular individuals.

One of the weirder things to discover about myself is my total inability to deal with couples. Even when two people I really like get together, the combined entity they represent baffles me utterly. Some sort of gestalt personality forms, and even if it's perfectly pleasant, I can't seem to deal with it.

So I find myself instinctively encountering people separately, trying to pry them apart from their partner. As if one-on-one is the only workable social configuration for me, the only way I actually have something to say. Three people is totally unstable, and four is too static - double dates usually feel terribly forced to me.

You think that being part of a couple myself - for the first time in a long time, I might add - might have changed things a bit. Particularly since I'm encountering other couples a lot more often than I did in, say, a place like Kauffman. But no. It might even have gotten worse. Theories as to what the heck is going on in my head are welcome.

Getting back into the Gate

Watched the first four episodes of Stargate end to end with Stolee last night. Despite all of the casting changes this season, I'm digging it so far. Though the extreme reliance on flashbacks is pretty strange.

Spoiler-type theory: the Ancients and the Ori parted ways all those millennia ago over philosophical difference. In particular, the treatment of less advanced races. Not a huge leap, I know, but it would explain a lot. It'll be interesting to see whether the Ancients will be willing to get involved if large numbers of their bretheren aren't obeying the rules.

Fortune cookie at dinner: "Maybe you can live on the moon in the next century."

Synchronicity

...is watching a days-old episode of Family Guy including a parody of A-ha's "Take On Me"; and then, an hour later, hearing the selfsame 80s song in its entirety, coming through the wall from my neighbor's apartment.

Happiness is...

Spoileriffic Harry Potter Post #2

More ideas/questions:

• Could one of the Horcruxes be inside Hogwarts? Perhaps inside that treasure room that Harry discovered?
• Dumbledore lowered the castle's barriers in order to enter by air; will the professors be able to restore it?
• What became of the children who Tom terrorized at the orphanage? Who else would have known of the cave's location?
• J.K. Rowling has stated publically that the barman in Hogsmeade is Dumbledore's brother; so why does Aberforth continue to remain anonymous within the books?
• Now that Dumbledore is dead, who is the secret-keeper for the Order? Relatedly, do Unbreakable Vows die with their makers?
• How exactly did Dumbledore come to have a phoenix as a familiar? And what was that wierd display about at the funeral? Rowling has refused to comment on these matters, as they relate to Book Seven. In any event, I think it extremely unlikely that Dumbledore will somehow return from the dead; indeed, he once said in no uncertain terms that it is impossible.
• Where did Dumbledore's new portrait come from? Does it have his memories?
• The pivotal chapter is named "The Lightning-Struck Tower", which is the image on the Tarot card of disaster that Trelawney mentioned a few chapters earlier. Why point out her correct prediction, when Dumbledore makes such an impassioned speech denouncing prophesy?

Spoileriffic Harry Potter Post

If you plan to read Half-Blood Prince at any point, don't read this post until you do.

So, there are a lot of unanswered, but suggestive, questions left at the end of the book. These are just my assorted harebrained theories, so take them with a large shaker of salt.

Who is R.A.B.? The likeliest (if not the only) answer is Regulus Black, Sirius's younger brother. He was a reluctant member of the Death Eaters, killed by Voldemort some fifteen years earlier for an unspecified betrayal. It fits the note: the author knows that he will be dead soon, and he must have been a Death Eater to address Voldemort as the Dark Lord.

And there is a small scene in Phoenix where the kids discover an un-openable locket while cleaning out the Black family mansion. Where is it now? There are four main possibilities: it was thrown out in the trash, Kreacher has it, it's still in the house, or Mundungus Fletcher stole it. Look for this to be resolved early on in Book Seven.

As for Snape, did he really betray Dumbledore? Personally, I think not. I can think of no other way to interpret their final scene but that Dumbledore was asking Snape to finish him - indeed, he was already dying from the poison. And he makes his plea before Snape has said a word, before he would have had any reason to suspect he was betrayed rather than saved. They can read one another's mind if they choose, don't forget.

Which would also explain why Dumbledore paralyzed Harry, to prevent him from extracting an instant and ill-considered revenge. Even as Harry chases Snape, Snape is still trying to teach him, to prepare him for his eventual battle. Look for some sort of... redemption, eventually, if not reconciliation.

So why did Dumbledore trust Snape so absolutely, anyway? He never told anyone, but if I had to guess, I'd say he had an Unbreakable Vow of his own with Snape. The exact details we can only guess at, but personally, I suspect that Snape swore to protect Harry Potter. Lily Potter's only child, don't forget, and it's strongly implied that she's the only person he ever really cared about.

Last but certainly not least, where (and what) are the Horcruxes? There's a good chance that the last one is Harry himself. Dumbledore himself says that Voldemort had one left to create when he went to kill the Potters, reserving them for particularly satisfying murders. He would have had little chance during his years of disembodiment, so if there really are seven, then there must have been a terrible accident...

It would explain a great deal - how Harry has his powers, can read his mind, speak Parseltongue, not to mention the prophesy. The only way that Harry will ever be able to kill Voldemort for good is by sacrificing himself in the process. Which, I admit, wouldn't be the most satisfying ending in the world, but hardly an unexpected one.

Those were just the Big Questions, I'll get to some of the small ones later after I've had a chance to refresh my memory...

By His Tivo Ye Shall Know Him

Since no one is particularly interested, these are the series I have my new DVR recording regularly:

• Family Guy
• Firefly
• Iron Chef America
• Stargate Atlantis
• Stargate SG-1
• Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

The Torment of Tantalus

So I've finally got Half-Blood Prince in my possession, yet because of various weekend commitments, I can't even crack it until at least Sunday. Oh, the irony!

When Condos Attack

So I got a lovely little missive from my landlord the other day: they've decided to turn my building into condos. My choices are to buy or leave, by March 31 of next year.

At the meeting this evening, the developer was rather vague about what the condos would cost, but their per-square-foot estimate would put mine in the $135,000 - $155,000 range. Ummmm, no. For that amount of money, in this city, I could and might buy a perfectly nice two bedroom house. So if you've never come to shack up at my downtown pad, the clock is ticking...

Special

Rodin

So I'm at the Nelson yesterday; slow afternoon, not much else to do. At one point I spot a tiny sculpture tucked into a corner at the far side of the room. I immediately think to myself, "Rodin!" And sure enough, it was.

Only afterwards did it occur to me how wierd that was. There are very few artists in any medium I could identify so readily. Even music - their voices, sure, but I can't much tell people apart from their musical style alone. My more musically-inclined friends will probably say I'm nuts, and they'd probably be right.

Mostly good things

Found out that I'm going to be a judge for the American Royal's annual BBQ contest, which I understand is one of the largest in the country. They say to expect about a pound of meat an hour. I think I can handle that

I'll miss you, Sandra Day O'Connor. More to the point, I'm pretty sure we're all doomed. At the very least I don't count on maintaining any of the civil liberties I've gained in the past twenty-odd years. The least-worst-case scenario is for Bush to pick a libertarian conservative, but I'm not holding my breath.

Fortune cookie received the other day: "Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues."

I've been up in Lincoln and Omaha this weekend, seeing Mark, April, Matt, Christy, and Kim. It's been so long since I've had someone to share stories with that I'd almost forgotten I had them. Good to see them all. And watch things explode.

They'd never see it coming

Thought inspired by seeing the DaVinci Code trailer: when adapting books into films, particularly those of a suspenseful nature, why don't more directors change the ending? All those people who've read the book and think they know what to expect would actually get their money's worth.

Reviewapalooza

Saw a great number of things this weekend:

Howl's Moving Castle, the newest film from Hayao Miyazaki. A young girl named Sophie is turned into an old woman, and becomes housekeeper to a (good? evil?) wizard named Howl who has, you guessed it, a moving castle. Not his best, I have to say; I prefer the more serious Nausicaa or Mononoke. This one is much more like Spirited Away, a simple fable. Reminded me of the Wizard of Oz in some ways. But the problem with fairy stories is that it's impossible to build tension or suspense when literally anything might happen at any moment. Still, a quality film and miles beyond anything Disney's done by itself in years. Take a peek if you liked any of his other films.

Batman Begins. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaark. Did I mention that I like dark? But honestly, Batman was meant to be a moody sort of story, far more so than any of the other comic books that have been filmed recently. It gives the impression that they plan to ignore and wipe away the other Batman films to date, which I'm perfectly fine with. They've given themselves a decent place to start this time. Oh, and mad props to my new hero, Christian Bale, who managed to be both Batman and the voice of Howl in the same year.

The new IMAX theatre, at which I saw Batman: not so much. The only IMAX theatres I'd been in to date were the IMAX domes, aka OmniMax, where you're right up close to a screen that wraps around you. But this one was just a bigger-than-usual screen - inside a bigger-than-usual auditorium. End result? You really can't tell the difference, honestly. Maybe it's a little brighter and the sound is better, but not worth it.

Last but not least, I finally finished The Rule of Four, a book I've been listening to on CD. Not something I'd usually do, but you gotta occupy those long trips to Lincoln somehow. It's in the historical-mystery-thriller genre that the DaVinci Code made popular of late. And it's about a very real, very strange book called the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili. But it has the audacity to actually be about its characters, and the central mystery is really just a MacGuffin. Kind of a daring choice, really. Recommended if you're into the genre, or if you went to Princeton.

There were some other things I managed to do and think, but I seem to have forgotten them for the moment...

Oddities of the Week

Spent the weekend at and around the Lake of the Ozarks, first camping, then at a resort. Turns out that no tent is waterproof after four inches of rain in three hours. Go figure.

Toured Bridal Cave, one of many in the area. Adam pointed out something odd about the tour guide's script that I entirely overlooked: his only statement about the age of the caves was "nobody knows". Which is pure poppycock, of course, as there are any number of ways of estimating it. Not least the rate at which stalagmites form, which he did mention. Leaving two obvious possibilities: either he himself is a creationist, or many of his visitors are, and he wanted to be politic. One of those moments when I realize that I'm just slightly closer to the Bible Belt than I used to be.

The resort, Tan-tar-a, was a treasure trove of little oddities. Only one of the five buildings has an elevator at all - holy ADA grandfathering, Batman! And then there was a system of skywalks that did a dubious job of knitting together the wildly different architectural styles. We actually got lost more than once just walking back from the pool: a choice of three paths split again into six, and all of them were dead ends! I don't easily get lost indoors, so I suspect a Rose Red of constantly shifting floor plans.

Random story for a few weeks back: I ask for a Liquid Cocaine at a bar. The bartender has to ask a colleague what's in it, which should have warned me. Usually it's some combination of vodka, amaretto, Southern Comfort, and pineapple juice. This one also had Jaegermeister. Possibly the most undrinkable thing I've ever been handed.

Been having really good luck at antique stores and used book sales lately: I've almost finished assembling the seven-volume Death's Gate cycle in hardback. If there are any Dragonlance fans out there, you should check it out: it's by Weis and Hickman.

Too bad everything else Tolkien wrote besides LOTR and the Hobbit remains near-unreadable.

I rarely pay attention to all things sports, but congratulations to Nebraska for making it to the College World Series. Looks like I'll be seeing them play this weekend.

The Unbearable Lightness of Best Buy

So I was shopping, briefly, at Best Buy last night. And in those few minutes, it managed to remind me why I rarely shop there:

I noticed a preorder slip on the shelf for the next Legend of Zelda game, Twilight Princess. The release date listed was 8/1, much sooner than the 10/3 I'd seen listed elsewhere. Intrigued, I accosted the nearest salesperson. The following is approximately the conversation that transpired:

Me: "Hey, could you double-check the release date on this game?"
BB: "Sure!"
(a few minutes pass)
BB: "I'm sorry, but this game doesn't seem to be in our system yet." [which is untrue]
Me: "What? I mean, it's on the shelf."
BB: "Sure is."
Me: "Doesn't that strike you as odd?"
BB: "Yep, it's pretty weird."
Me: "What would happen if I took this preorder slip to the register?"
BB: "That's an excellent question."

And so forth. The poor boy had a total lack of curiosity, problem solving skills, and in general, conscious thought. It was rather like talking to Eliza. I wish I could blame him, but I suspect that working there does that to a person.

Misery

So, I was awoken at 5:30 AM yesterday by the pain of the worst earache I think I've ever had in my life. Went to the doctor, middle ear infection, antibiotics, threw up a few times, wanted to die, blah blah blah. Not a good day.

Also yesterday, received the fortune: "A carrot a day may keep cancer away." Emphasis mine. Why am I the only person who gets evil fortunes of death?

Storms coming through right now. Makes me happy but Adam paranoid. It's a good thing his phobias are endearing.

Show of the Week

Been watching Firefly, Joss Whedon's aborted masterpiece. For quite a few of my loyal readers, I can best describe it as a live-action version of Cowboy Bebop. The setting, the characters, the situations are all highly reminiscent. With a little bit of Trigun thrown in for good measure: every planet they visit looks like the Old West, and the soundtrack is all violins and guitars. Pretty good so far; if I continue to think so to the end, I'll probably have to go see the movie that's coming out.

Edit: I almost forgot the most awesome thing. The characters all speak English, except when they swear, which is always in Mandarin. Hee.

My apartment building has an old shopping cart residents' use living under the stairs. Yeah, it's ghetto, but it was also handy when you had a carload full of stuff to haul upstairs. Couldn't have moved in without it. So imagine my horror today when I saw that it was broken. Wheel snapped off; now it sits crippled in the corner. How the heck do you break a shopping cart? The things are damn near indestructable; they're not popular with the homeless set for nothing.

Movies that suck, but only for me

In the past month or two I've gotten around to seeing a pair of films that my friends have been after me to see for ages. I didn't particularly care for either. And this is a sufficiently unusual occurence that I thought I'd blog about it.

The first was Garden State. On all the usual technical levels, it was a perfectly decent film. True, I didn't flip over the soundtrack, probably because I wasn't previously familiar with the bands involved. But that's a minor quibble. Mostly, it just didn't resonate. I couldn't empathize with the main character, couldn't imagine myself ever doing or feeling any of the things he did.

He comes home to discover that all his friends are basically the same even though he's drastically different. Meanwhile I've found that it's usually quite the opposite - my friends have changed even more than I have. He exhibits a near-total, and understandable, inability to function in normal society - and simultaneously an uncanny insight into people. The hell? As far as I'm concerned it's basically the same skill. I thought I was a disaffected loner at one point in my life. But it apparently doesn't hold a candle to some of you, dear readers, if you saw yourself in this catatonic idiot.

And then there was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I've loved all of Charlie Kaufman's previous works, and like all the rest, it was endlessly inventive, both visually and narratively. And yet.

It suffered from what Roger Ebert calls the "idiot plot": the plot won't function unless otherwise seemingly intelligent people make unbelievably stupid decisions. I cannot for a moment believe that any rational adult would make the choice that the two main characters do in this film. It goes way past the point of comic farce and lands somewhere near disgusting psychopathy. It strains my suspension of disbelief way past the breaking point.

I also took away a very different impression of the ending. Most reviews I've seen say that it's hopeful: even knowing how it ended the first time, the couple decides to try their relationship again. Yet the whole message of the film, repeated over and over in the secondary characters, is that those who do not remember their history are doomed to repeat it. I don't have the slightest doubt that their relationship will end the same way the second (third?) time. It's Romeo and Juliet on a tape loop.

So yeah. Two critically acclaimed films that didn't win me over in the slightest, because I couldn't for a moment picture myself in the characters' shoes. Yeah, that's not the only way to make a good movie, but it's an important one...

May the Force be with you

(I'm going to try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible, in that curious sort of way that Episode III dictates: you already know perfectly well what's going to happen, just not how it will happen.)

Overall? Relax. Exhale. It's pretty darn good, almost up to the standard of the original trilogy. Even in those moments when it richly deserved some MST3King, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen long enough to snark to my neighbor. And by the end, I felt myself sighing with relief as we arrived back on familiar ground.

The bad? Everything you've heard about the awfulness of the dialogue, and the acting in general, is true and then some. It's way beyond Lucas just not knowing how to direct; it's as if he sucked the life and talent out of otherwise excellent actors. Suddenly they're on stage for the first time in their lives. It's hideous. The audience laughed at a number of points where they clearly weren't meant to.

And the writing itself... well, it's hard to explain. The overall script has been trimmed down to the barest essentials; every line serves to advance the plot. And yet there's still too much talking. A lot of things are said with words when a simple look would have surficed. I was reminded of something I learned in my first journalism class: never tell when you can show.

Random musings and ponderings follow. These are NOT meant to be rhetorical: I'm hoping for feedback.

• My, but Lucas is in love with his CG. Was the (helmetless) Clone Army general a computer creation, or was it just me? Wouldn't putting the actor in a costume have been cheaper and more convincing?
• I did notice the scene that people were saying was heavy-handed political commentary by Lucas. It's hard not to. But if you think carefully about who represents who and who's saying what, it's all so scrambled that it's useless as metaphor.
• Yoda's final words to Obi-Wan: the hell? Where did that come from, and how does it relate to anything in Episodes IV-VI? A friend suggests that it might help explain the non-vanishing of dead Jedi Masters in this film, but I'm not sure if that theory holds up in all cases.
• If you've ever seen the behind-the-scenes footage of Empire, you'll know about a certain lie that was told to the cast. Ponder the degree to which it wasn't a lie at all.
• Interesting choice of stories for Palpatine to tell Anakin; remarkably truthful in fact. Too bad he didn't pay attention to it himself.
• I'd often wondered what, in particular, they would have as the temptation that drove Anakin to the dark side. Luke's presumably parallel story offered several choices, but Lucas picked the saddest and most tragic of them all. Episodes I-III in general seem to suggest that whatever hope and idealism Lucas had in his youth is long gone.
• Did you notice what Obi-Wan took away from his final battle? It's extremely important later on.
• As a purely political and strategic matter, do Palpatine's orders to the droid army make the slightest bit of sense? I'm not sure how the places he sent them or the things he had them do advanced his agenda in the slightest.
• It seems as though for the Jedi and Sith alike, there is a difficult and very personal trial to go through before one can become a Master. It's just a bit more disfiguring for the Sith.
• Who was Darth Sidious's master, anyway? Now that the movies are done, will LUcas open the Extended Universe to books that are set before Episode I?
• It's cute and all to have distantly related characters turn out to know one another in Episodes I-III, but it's also distracting. It means that certain people should have commented on it in Episodes IV-VI, but didn't. Not to mention that certain cases of random chance become unbelievable coincidences.
• Prophesy and foresight are the most horrifically misleading things imaginable in these films; I swear that it was almost a nod to Dune.

Good triumphs over evil, 2X

What are the odds? For the second season in a row, a team I actually like won the Amazing Race on Tuesday night, instead of the assholeish team that had already won a million dollars on Survivor. Karma's a bitch. On a related note, Alex & Lynn are getting married! Yay.

Finally made it through the first season of Alias. It's been strange watching the show "inwards", forward from the first season and backward from the current (fourth). I dunno if anyone else reading this watches the show, but I'd like to make a speculation that'll be a SPOILER if you aren't up to date: the mysterious boss who everyone seems to work for? Milo Rambaldi himself. Just wait.

Watching all this TV is exhausting stuff; I have no idea how James and Stolee watch season after season of Stargate end to end. Firefly next, I guess, and if it's good enough I'll go see Serenity.

FLASH: Woohoo! A federal court finally saw fit to overturn the ridiculous Initiative 416 that Nebraskans saw fit to pass a few years back. Here's hoping it holds up.

Just another weekend in paradise

Drove back to Kansas City through pouring rain for the second time in a row. Curse? Oh, and a highlight: the second pair of giant glowing pillars on the way into town is now active. Still don't know who built them or what they mean.

As amusing as Family Guy is, it's even funnier when accompanied by Lincoln DeMaris's insane, terrifying scream of a laugh. I Heart You, Lincoln.

Bob's heading to Colorado, which is sad. Jesse's almost done with another batch of beer, which is happy. Rusty's heading to Phoenix, which is sad. I'm head-over-heels in love, which is very happy. Life's always a mixed bag, I guess.

Haven't posted any long philosophical rants here in a while, unlike my better half. I will eventually, I promise, I just need to get up the right head of steam.

Artistic Linkorgy

Random encounter of the weekend: some two thousand members of "United Notions", banqueting in Union Station's great hall. Apparently some sort of arts and crafts organization. Wonder who won Doily of the Year?

Ever since I got here, people have been loaning me TV show boxsets, and now I'm totally backlogged. In the near future, in no particular order, I need to make it through Tales of the City, Alias, and Firefly. That's a lot of hours of DVD.

My other expedition this weekend was to the Brookside Annual, a rather huge outdoor art fair. I didn't have nearly the time or money to buy much of anything, but I did manage to grab business cards from the booths that interested me. I'm sure to lose them soon enough, so for my own future reference this is a linkorgy of all the cool ones. Might make for interesting browsing if you're really, really bored.

• Audrey Heller Photography


• Chris Dahlquist: Photographic Mixed Media


• Chris Honeysett, Photographer


• Damian Velasquez: Modern Handcrafted Furniture


• Jeffrey Zachmann: Kinetic Sculptures


• Kelvin Schartz: Celestial Ironworks


• Kevin Sink Photography: Designs from Nature


• Kyle Osvog: Ceramic Sculpture


• Michael Bryant: Transfers with Prose


• Michael D'Andrea Studios


• Mike McMullen: Black & White Fine Art Photography


• Mitch Yung Ceramic Design


• R. Henry Design


• Susan & Kelly Nolan: Impostors
  

Animals are people too

So, Cerner trumpets its "people-oriented" architecture, and it's true: the Person table is the central item in our database, to which all other tables are connected. I was, therefore, incredibly amused the first time I noticed there was a column devoted to species. Someone finally clued me in to our veterinary clientele. At Cerner, it's literally true: animals are people too.

I swear it hasn't been this long since I posted last. I think maybe Blogger ate an essay or two. I've been living a relatively uneventful life. Went to the Mid America Freedom Band's concert last weekend, and tomorrow I'm off to my very first Royals game with my entire department in tow. And spending a lot of time with someone I don't have to mention here. :)

I hear UNL's getting out in just another week or two here, and people are scattering to the four winds. If you're going to be anywhere near the midwest this summer, my door (and couch) are always open.

Internet Archaeology

I've spent the past few days trying to locate and get in touch with a variety of people: roommates from college, friends from high school, and a few from even further back. Google's been invaluable in this respect, of course, and it's good to stretch my information mining muscles. But you know what's been even more useful? ICQ.

Anyone younger than me is probably literally too young to remember it, but it was the ur-IM, predating AIM, Yahoo, and MSN. And it was way ahead of them in a lot of functionality, notably and handily, the auto-archiving of all messages. Very few people I know use it today, but it was and is very popular in Europe, and with a slightly older generation of Net users.

So I've been perusing through my hundreds of old contacts, looking for email addresses, scribbled notes, clues in message logs, and the like. Already found one roommate, now working at a hotel... in Beijing. (If you're reading this, hola, jefe.) Another search has taken me through the organizational remnants of the Howard Dean campaign. Not to mention the National Forestry Service, the english department at the University of Chicago, and a food company in Tulsa, OK.

It's been a lot of fun, actually. I'm tempted to say I need to lose people more often, just so I can have the pleasure of finding them again.

Holy Matrimony

(Yeah, yeah, I know I haven't been posting often enough. Just been busy and happy lately, I guess.)

Spent the weekend in Lincoln, mainly for Adam Brehm's wedding. And a lovely wedding it was too, but then, I'm a sucker for them. The church was just a block from my parents' house, and packed fuller than I've ever seen it. Almost standing room only. I'm pretty sure their entire fraternity, sorority, and every living relative was there.

Oh, and it was a big old JDE reunion, too. Saw Mark and April, Mike, John, Cody, Dan, and a dozen more. It's so relaxing to run into people you've know for years - easy to slip into all the old patterns. And it turns out that Black is living in Kansas City now, too. I know you're not reading this, but I'll be giving you a call soon.

Stevenson will be pissy at me if I don't mention that it was his birthday, too. Decadent dinner at the Oven. And he got a bottle of amarula. Unusual stuff; if you've never had it, hit him up for it.

Much as I might love spring and thunderstorms, driving home through a torrential downpour for three hours sucks. So does being so far off the ground that you can't hear the rain from your bedroom. Being downtown is nice, but I need to get back to somewhere green eventually.

Spring in the air

So apparently half the trees in Kansas City are pear trees, because they're all blooming in brilliant white just now. I've been informed, repeatedly and emphatically, that they're Bradford pears, though no one seems to know what the distinction is. I do: the pear trees back home smelled nice in the spring, but these things smell like urine. Wikipedia suggests either rotting crab meat, or a cross between jasmine and dog vomit.

They've been building these strange concrete columns across from my apartment, where you coem off the bridge into downtown. They're finally finished, and it turns out they they're covered with these banks of lights that flow and shift colors in complex patterns. I have no idea what they're for, but they're sure hypnotic to watch.

Went to a choral concert tonight, the Heartland Men's Chorus to be exact. It was all religious music, with narration by special guest Rev. Mel White. Really good music, and they had some sharp words about the gay marriage amendment that's up for vote in Kansas on Tuesday. Their next concert, in June, features the music of Kander & Ebb - Cabaret and Chicago, most famously. Turns out that John Kander is a KC native, and will be in attendence. Cool stuff.

I have an SUV

No, seriously, I do. It's like this: my car's in the shop this week, so my insurance company gave me a rental. But they had run out of the car I was supposed to have. So, they gave me the next smallest thing in stock at no additional charge: a Mitsubishi Endeavor. And true to form, it's enormous.

Seriously, I feel ridiculous just driving around in it. It's not even fun, reminding me of nothing so much as my parents' old minivan. Worst of all, it behooves me to gas it before I return it, and that's going to be a pretty penny. I'd like to think I evened things out by riding to lunch in a friend's new hybrid Honda Accord. But still. Ugh.

Stargate Atlantis: Season Two

The following are my wild speculations about things that will occur during the second season of Stargate Atlantis. As long as you've seen everything up until the season finale, there shouldn't be any spoilers:

• We'll find out much more about the creation of the Wraith. The team has speculated, but their guesses don't feel right. In particular, how much were the Ancients involved, and was it really an accident?
• Why did the Ancients have a nanite virus lying around that kills humans but leaves Ancients alone?
• Are the Wraith only able to feed on humans (and no other species)? If so, is this a nod to their origins?
• It's been hinted at, but to what extent exactly are the Wraith able to read the minds of their victims while they feed? Did they all wake up en masse because they'd found out about Earth?
• Do the Wraith have a hive mind? How do they breed?
• We know the Atlantis stargate wouldn't do the Wraith much good; it's hardly a practical way of transporting their entire population. So if they got their hands on the city itself, or otherwise determined the location of Earth, how long would it take them to get there? How would Earth's defenses stand up?
• To produce their seemingly endless supply of ships, the Wraith must have factory worlds, a la the Death Star; we might get to see these bases.
• If the team is able to get their hands on a fully-charged ZPM, not only will the shield be up, but we might just get to see the city fly.
• And here's the most outlandish one of all: remember the episode with the spider-like cousin of the Wraith? Remember how it didn't much like salt water? Well, maybe the Ancients submerged their city for a particular reason. What a world, what a world...

For the record, I cheated a bit and watched the season finale already. It rocks. Don't miss.

Random explorations

Another weekend of wandering the town at random, poking into obscure corners. Discovered an unmarked but very pretty little park just where the Kansas and Missouri Rivers join, and then that there's a pedestrian footbridge hidden underneath the I-70 bridge. Rather a lot of natural beauty right in the middle of the city around here, you just have to go looking.

Also went to the Kemper, KC's premier modern art museum. Saw lots of things I liked, but the most stunning was Editing in the Dark, a series of movies that loop continuously, with a plot but no beginning or end. Melancholy stuff, too, yet there's no dialogue. Couldn't stop thinking about it for hours afterward.

Finally saw Finding Neverland. Excellent stuff, quite a bit of the audience was sniffling by the end. It must have been a really good year in movies for it to get next to nothing in the way of Oscar considerations. Mr. Johnny Depp might be in danger of overexposure, though, with at least three more films that I know about coming out this year: Pirates of the Caribbean 2, Willy Wonka, and... Corpse Bride?!

Random observation on Wednesday: the equinox is almost here, because the sun was setting just slightly south of true west.

Things that are obvious in hindsight: one of my down-the-hall neighbors moved out today, and I should have seen it coming. Why? Because there's been an abandoned box of Macaroni & Cheese sitting in the hall for days, which frighteningly enough, is absolutely the first even mildly unusual thing that's happened at my apartment since I moved here.

Well, except for that Apple Studio Display I saw in the dumpster the other day. Presumably busted, but I still almost dived after it on pure instinct.

A wierd one

I really don't dream that often, maybe once every week or two at most. And when I do, they often tend to be extremely mundane. So last night's was unusually fun: the dream was more or less a pilot episode for WKRP in Cincinatti. It bore little resemblance to the original, except that they were auditioning hilariously incompetent staff. The really odd part was that the tycoon who owned the station was named Leopold Senghor, who's a famous African poet from Senegal. Except in the dream, I was convinced he was the grandson of a famous Impressionist painter. So what, precisely, is this supposed to say about my subconscious?

Strangely enough

I hear a lot of scuttlebutt at work, of course, but today's was the oddest in a while. Apparently the Oklahoma State basketball team was practicing in our company gym today, ahead of the Big 12 Tournament. And our CEO was seen giving a chancellor-type the grand tour - turns out he's an alumnus. Small world.

More explorations

As I was reminded, there was more to my weekend ramblings. I'd assumed there must be some way to get to the river itself from the River Market, and indeed there is. From a back corner of the neighborhood, a newish and well-lit pedestrian bridge leads over the train tracks to an observation deck some fifty feet above the river. That alone would be pleasant enough, but stairs lead down to the waterfront itself and a very singular scene.

On the one hand, there's a brand-new trail extending in either direction. Signs and empty concrete slabs announce a planned restaurant, entertainment wharf, interpretive center, and ecological restoration station. Sidewalk markers in the River Market lead you to the area, and the trail connects at either end to the existing network.

And yet. There's garbage - and worse - everwhere. A number of homeless men are plainly inhabiting the area. There are empty shells of collapsed buildings, and the remains of a ruined overpass leading nowhere. Plastic fences are trampled, and concrete barriers suddenly give up, allowing unfettered access to the trainyard.

In essence, it's urban renewal in a very early stage, started but far from finished. I've never seen an area quite like it before. Like a lot of places in Kansas City, pleasant enough in the daytime, but probably a bit dodgy at night. More information is available at the - ha! - Kansas City Port Authority.

An embarassment, also of riches

As many of you know, I live near Kansas City's River Market, much like Nebraska's Haymarket or Old Market. Yet I must sheepishly admit that I've never actually been there, despite living here nearly six months now. The only lame excuse I can offer is that it's been cold, rainy, or otherwise unpleasant nearly every weekend this entire time. Today was the first Saturday I actually felt like walking around a historic district shopping.

The verdict? Wow. What took me so long? I'm surrounded by an orgy of unusual and interesting stores, nearly all of which I'd actually consider buying something in (normally about one in ten in the larger world). I plan on spending my weekends doing things like this a lot more often now. Highlights included:

* The River Market Antique Mall, all 30,000 square feet of it in one building. I staggered out with a sort of nauseous capitalism overdose, convinced I'd seen one of every good produced in the 20th century.

* The Planters Company, four contiguous storefronts devoted to every possible outdoor/gardening good imaginable, like a compressed Earl May. And on top of that, an entire room devoted to freshly ground spices. I almost wet myself just smelling it.

* An Italian import/gourmet grocery, an organic food store, a wine shop, multiple coffeehouses, and weekly farmer's market (in the morning...) that I just missed.

* A used bookstore with two cats, as all good bookstores should have. Though, for some reason, neither of them had tails...

* Oggi Modern Furnishings, an orgy of unapologetic (and overpriced) modernism that's probably Kansas City's closest stab at those places they go on Queer Eye. Good for getting ideas, then finding them cheaper somewhere else.

Just in general, an envigorating sort of day. I'd nearly forgotten that I actually enjoy shopping - in the right kind of store.

Should have read my horoscope

Yesterday was not a good day. Overslept. Woke up and used the bathroom, and then noticed that the toilet was backed up. And I didn't have a plunger. Then I checked my email and discovered my solution manager had called a meeting on short notice, which was actually starting just as I read the message - at home. It's a wonder I didn't steer the car right off the bridge.

Petty Identity Theft

So I got a letter today from my bank, stating that I had been turned down for a loan. Funny thing is, I never applied for one. In the modern day and age, that's a rather scary thing.

I had a nice little chat with corporate headquarters, and eventually determined that my local branch had rather badly fucked up some paperwork for overdraft protection. So, false alarm. But still. Stopped my heart for a minute there.

My Funny Androgyne

So last night, I was treated (or perhaps subjected) to the Late Night Theatre, an apparent Kansas City legend. They're a troupe of actors who do musical parodies of the best and worst movies ever made. The nearest analogy I could make might be to a Rocky Horror cast with broader horizons. Their home is a tiny, grungy shoebox of a theatre downtown that only holds a few dozen people. As a result, it's a very intimate evening of entertainment.

The show? Purple Rain. Now, it's been a long time since I've seen it, and I've never been the biggest Prince fan, but the show was absolutely hysterical all the same. I'm told the casts are usually all-male with lots of drag, but this particular show was all-female with lots of drag. Which, if you're playing Prince, isn't all that much of a stretch. It's pretty risque, too, with some full-frontal nudity, and I hear there's been worse. Not for the faint of heart or ear.

Shows for the remainder of the year include: Rockula (The Hair Band Vampire Musical), The Bad Seedling, Supermodels in Space (The Wrath of Madeline Kahn), and The Valley of the Dolls. There's a show going on nearly every weekend, so add this to the list of things I'm more than happy to do with my guests.

It begins...

I was wondering how long it would take for the people I went to school with to start getting married - in mass quantities, at least. Just got a wedding invitation from Adam Brehm & Ashli Eickman, who I can recall pestering about their inevitable nuptuals for years. And it's a block away from my parents' house to boot. Congratulations, guys.

Poor Design

I finally had the distinct pleasure of visiting Manhattan, KS, and the distinct misfortune of visiting its one and only movie theatre. I'd heard the stories, but it's even worse than I thought:

* It only shows the most generic, commercial blockbusters. Of the numerous Oscar nominees currently in wide release, not one was showing.

* Despite (or perhaps because of) Manhattan's status as a college town, there are no student discounts whatsoever. Cash only, too.

* Nothing at the concession stand is priced in $0.25 increments, so there are nickels and dimes everywhere.

* The aspect ratio of the individual theatres is off; they're too long. Despite having fairly standard screen sizes and stadium seating, everything's too far away from the screen. From the topmost row, which would be an excellent seat in many theatres, you would hardly be able to see a thing.

* I was informed that some of the older/unrenovated rooms have completely flat floors, rendering any row but the first few useless. This may have something to do with their previous existance as gymnasiums.

* There is only one exit leading out of the theatre, one exit from the building, and a single driveway leading out of the parking lot. It's one bottleneck after another (not to mention a fire hazard).

Just craptastic all around. And Constantine is as ho-hum a movie as I'd predicted. Oh well. It's always nice seeing Matt and Steven. Happy Birthday!

Word of the Day

Coulrophobia

Reviews

Saw a couple things this weekend. First was Sideways, the latest from Alexander Payne (Election, About Schmidt). It's up for about a zillion Oscars. And on top of all that, it's pretty damn good. One of those very, very rare romantic comedies that actually feels like it could happen. Highly recommended. Rusty, if you're reading this, I can see the two of us reenacting it someday - I'll let you decide which of us is which character.

Also watched all fifty-one episodes of Full Metal Alchemist, thanks to a kind donation from Mr. Stolee. Reminiscent of Evangelion in a lot of ways, including the sudden left turn and plunge over the abyss near the end. Catch it on Adult Swim some evening, and if you like it, hit up Derrick-san.

Burned some bread in the microwave tonight, sending a huge plume of smoke into my apartment before I noticed it. Neither the sprinklers nor the smoke detector went off. Which is lucky in a way, but also a bit disturbing. What would set them off?

Random musing: is there a metaphor to be had in the fact that the time on most clocks can only be adjusted forwards?

Last but not least, Blogger has a new comment interface, so now you anonymous people can leave your names (hint, hint).

One for you, nineteen for me

So it turns out I'll be getting my first tax refund ever this year. $523 from the feds, $171 from the state of Missouri. Not a fortune, and it'll all go straight to various bills, but better than a kick in the groin.

Amazing!

Last night's finale for the Amazing Race was really good (of course), but they dropped the real stunner at the end of the show: "Stay tuned for scenes from our next season... Three weeks from tonight, eleven new teams will begin a race around the world..."

What an embarassment of riches. It's almost unheard of for a reality show, or any show for that matter, to start a season so soon on the heels of the last. Among other things, it means that CBS will be betting its spring sweeps on the show. Guess all those Emmy awards and climbing ratings are finally paying off, eh?

Finale

It's always nice to get sent home early from work due to a blizzard, isn't it? (No, Tom, that was not sarcasm.) Due to the weather, the friends I was going to have over to watch the Amazing Race season finale won't be able to come. But I'm going to watch it anyway, as should you. 8:00 Central on CBS.

I'm used to getting junk mail from a wide variety of sources, but it still burns me when I get it directly from my bank. They want me to sign up for their credit monitoring service - only $9.99 a month! They seem to have conveniently forgotten that in three weeks everyone in Missouri will be able to get a free credit report from all three of the majors, by law. I hope no poor schmucks sign up for this thing.

Read the rest of Close Range and, if it's possible, I'm even more gobsmacked than before. The characters in all of the stories are ultimately melancholy, hollow, futile, but they manage to be fascinating in the process. It makes you want to either move to Wyoming, blow it off the face of the earth, or both. Consider it on my must-read recommendation list, if you're the sort who reads.

Where the Buffalo Roam

Working a full day on a Saturday: not cool, but bound to happen eventually. At least everything went well, and there were donuts.

Didn't manage to find a Super Bowl party. Still enjoyed the commercials, though. This is my favorite; I personally call it "Oh Brave New World". You'll see why.

Picked up some Annie Proulx at the library, specifically Close Range: Wyoming Stories. You might have heard of her most famous book, The Shipping News. I got this particular book because one of the stories in it, "Brokeback Mountain", is currently being adapted into a film. Her writing style is just amazing. Dense, complex, visual, a lot like how I would write myself if I ever got up the courage to attempt fiction. As for the story itself... I haven't been able to get it out of my mind for days. It pops back into my head at idle moments, and every time I feel a strong need to cry. If the movie is even halfway decent, I'll be bawling. It's not that it's tragic or depressing exactly, just extraordinarily sad. As one reviewer put it, you need a hug afterwards. I suppose it's probably fair use to quote a brief excerpt:

"Around that time Jack began to appear in his dreams, Jack as he had first seen him, curly-headed and smiling and bucktoothed, talking about getting up off his pockets and into the control zone, but the can of beans with the spoon handle jutting out and balanced on the log was there too, in a cartoon shape with lurid colors that gave the dreams a flavor of comic obscenity. The spoon handle was the kind that could be used as a tire iron. And he would wake sometimes in grief, sometimes with the old sense of joy and relief; the pillow sometimes wet, sometimes the sheets.

There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it."

Reinvented Wheel

For years now, I've been putting Italian salad dressing on white rice. I assumed this was just another of my bizarre food preferences, kinda like putting ketchup on scrambled eggs.

I've also never had sushi, since I have a strong dislike for seafood of all kinds. Perhaps if I'd ever tried it, I would have realized long ago that sushi means literally vinegared rice, and I'd accidentally recreated a Western version of it. As it is, it took Iron Chef for me to figure it out.

Just Two Sentences

"Because marriage is a sacred institution and the foundation of society, it should not be redefined by activist judges. For the good of families, children and society, I support a constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage."

A little lukewarm? We can only hope. I'm sure y'all know my feelings on the matter, but a few rhetorical questions all the same: What business does the government have calling anything sacred? Who does have the authority to redefine it? Which is more often dangerous to society, activist judges or political majorities? If the amendment is for the good of, are its opponents for the evil of?

Here's a nice summary of same.

Rococo

All that snow last night? Melted by the time I got up.

Finally finished The Baroque Cycle, all three thousand-page volumes of it. It lives up to its name, with a plotline full of ornate and elaborate encrustations. Very broadly speaking, it's a fictionalized history of the Scientific Revolution in the late 1600s and early 1700s. Physics, mathematics, chemistry, biology, and philosophy. Newton, Liebnitz, Hooke, and Wren. The first steam engine and the first computer. But that's just the main plotline.

In the process, there's a fairly exhaustive tour of European history. We see the beheading of Charles I, the restoration of Charles II, the flight of James II, the invasion of William of Orange, and the death of Anne. We see the magnificence and insanity of Versailles under the Sun King, Louis XIV. We find out where the modern banking and monetary system came from. And so on, and so on, and so on.

Don't get me wrong, it can be pretty tedious reading if you don't have a head for this sort of thing. There's a lot of names and places to keep straight, and a cast of characters so large they have their own appendix at the end. But if you can get past that, it's pretty fascinating stuff. I know there's at least a few of you own there who'd be up to it.

On a related note, I realized tonight that I may have completely forgotten basic calculus. How do you integrate, again?

Purdy

It just started snowing here... big, heavy flakes, the sort of honest snow that we haven't had all winter. Gorgeous.

Iron Chef shout-out!

Another cool thing heard on NPR this morning: they were running a story on cutting edge cuisine in Spain. It was recorded at a "fusion" convention for chefs being held in Madrid. And who should they interview, as he made matsutake tapas? Why, Dr. Yukio Hattori, the know-it-all commentator who appears on every Iron Chef. It's good to know that he's alive and well and still cooking.

Half Full or Half Empty?

So I'm listening to NPR this morning and they do a lengthy piece on the upcoming elections in Iraq. First up is their correspondent interviewing a number of Iraqis. They all insist (among other things) that the most influential political/religious figure in the country, Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani, has not endorsed any of the parties.

Immediately afterwards is another interview with a random American talking head, who repeatedly insists that Sistani is backing the favored party.

The news anchors themselves make no mention whatsoever of this glaring contradiction between two of their sources, within a minute's time no less. Now, were they a) asleep at the switchboard, or b) confident in their listeners to draw their own conclusions from the diverging accounts?

KC Bombers

Okay, so, roller derby. Wow. I'm just going to try to describe, on the assumption that most of you would be as unfamiliar with it as I was - cheesy '70s flicks notwithstanding.

Two teams of around a dozen girls, though only five each are on the rink at any given time. All of them have campy stage names: Estee Slaughter, Maiden Hell, Anna Conda, etc. They're also in outlandish outfits, lots of pink and black, short skirts, feather boas, etc. The whole thing is held in a particularly large (and old) roller rink not far from Cerner. Probably several hundred people in attendance.

The rules: at any given time, one girl from each team is the designated scorer, and this role rotates. She scores a point each time she manages to lap a member of the other team; and they, of course, are trying to block her or knock her out of bounds. Three fifteen-minute periods, with a short intermission between each.

During these intermissions, random entertainment. Tonight's was a local capoeira club, a Brazilian style of both dance and martial arts. Seriously cool stuff to watch.

Mood: high camp. All of the announcers and a few of the audience members are in costume; the music is retro '70s; drag queens circle the perimeter holding up signs just like a boxing match. A little like a Rocky Horror showing, if you've ever been to one. Yet everyone's taking it really seriously, and the competition is apparently quite real. Some sideline conversations reveal that they practice regularly, and a few girls I meet say they tried out but weren't good enough skaters.

The audience: astonishingly mixed. Preppies and goths. Gay and straight. Elderly couples and young children. Probably the most eclectic gathering of humanity I've been part of in a very long time. Would be worth the price of admission just for that fact.

Overall: a remarkably enjoyable, and completely random, way to spend an evening. Their matches are generally Saturday nights, so if you're done here one of those weekends, we'll go.

The names have been changed to protect the guilty

Me: "Ja wohl!"
Boss: "Huh?"
Me: "It's German for yes sir."
Boss: "I don't speak Sputnik."

Seventh and Eighth Chevrons Locked

New episodes of both Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis resume Friday night at 7:00 on the SciFi Channel. If you're reading this, I insist you watch. They're simply some of the best shows on television. Slightly less important, but still cool, is that Food Network is showing new episodes of Iron Chef America on Sunday nights.

I think the Folgers plant is roasting something new, because the air tonight was filled with the most potent cinnamon odor I've ever smelled. Relatedly, I find it awesome that my local WalMart carries daikon radish, even if I'd never buy it.

So I forgot to mention that last weekend, my godfather showed me his rather vast collection of single malt Scotches. There was some truly amazing stuff in there. If you want any recommendations, I'm your man.

Oddities

[Writing this for the SECOND TIME since the site crashed...]

Thought inspired by a bathroom wall: if I went to a Husker game and shouted "GO GIVE HEAD!", would anyone notice? Or care?

Article of the day: a comprehensive history of Social Security. Long but educational. EDIT: No, that's now the secondary article of the day, because I just found out that an old friend of mine (the first one on this page) appears on the Van Helsing DVD commentary.

Finally finished The Minish Cap, the latest entry in the Zelda legend. It's a bit shorter and easier than the recent games, more of a throwback to Link to the Past. But it's also very original, with lots of new mechanics, weapons, and puzzles. And the world is quite a bit bigger than it first seems due to its constantly shifting nature, a bit like Chrono Trigger. Highly recommended if you're a fan of the series (and own a GameBoy Advance).

This Saturday, I'll be going on what might be my strangest date ever: to the Roller Derby. You heard me right. I'll try to write up an account afterwards, but I have a feeling that I might be at a loss for words.

Educate Yourself

Supreme Court justices very rarely debate anyone in public, much less one another. Which is why it's noteworthy that they did so just the other day at American University. It makes for lengthy but very interesting reading. And if you're Tom, mandatory.

I think I realized another reason why I dislike eating at fast food restaurants: the families. Almost without exception, parents tend to treat their children horribly, using names that I wouldn't even call an adult. It requires every ounce of self-control I have not to tell them off. Ugh. Maybe that should be my new definition for white trash: the chronically rude.

Oh, yes, and I ended up coming through Lincoln a bit earlier than expected. I'm sitting in Kauffman right now, actually.

Inflation

Even for an adult male, there's still something a little frightening when every light in the parking lot shuts off, for no apparent reason, while you're in the middle of it. A vast, frigid parking lot surrounded on two sides by forest, to be exact. It's like the lead-in to a scene from an action movie that you really don't want to star in.

The new carpet is in at my apartment; viewed from the wrong angle, it gives the rather disturbing illusion that the entire floor is undulating.

Fie on rising health care costs, even (especially) at a company that specializes in it. I switched to a plan this year that's significantly cheaper than my old one - at the 2005 rate schedule, that is. But I'm still paying noticeably more than I did last year, and it's that much less to take home. If I weren't single, frugal, and debt-free, I'd probably be even more peeved about it.

Going up north this weekend to see my dad for his birthday, and to see my godfather for some belated Christmas exchanges. Get the Marlon Brando impression out of your systems now. Done? Good. All this will be near Sioux City, but I'll pass through Lincoln on the way back Sunday night. If anyone wants to do dinner, give me a jingle that afternoon.

Environs

It's been a week of noticing random things:

• Smelled someone making toast in the break room, and realized it was the first time I'd so much as smelled it, much less eaten it, in over a year.
• Poster of the month, on lampposts/windows/elevators etc, is "ISO 9001". It's good that we're certified and all, but I'd have thought it more of an order qualifier than an order winner.
• There's a treadmill in a third floor conference room. Not for exercise, but as a sample of a medical equipment interface from a vendor. I doubt anyone's ever even used it.
• What looks like a snack bar or cafeteria annex is under construction in the lobby. Imagine how much time and productivity employees will save when they don't have to walk across the street.
• All the lights seemed brighter on the way home. First evening in a week without rain, snow, or fog.
• New carpet for the hallways in my apartment is stacked next to the elevator. Whole place smells like Nebraska Furniture Mart.
• Turns out my Linksys router knows how to update itself against DynDNS.org. Everyone else probably knew this, but I hadn't.
• The cap on my vanilla vodka wasn't tight when I put it back into my wine rack, so now my countertop is covered in sticky vanilla syrup.

Memoirs Found in a Bathtub

Found deep inside a logfile:

BUILD SUCCESSFUL

Total time: 13 minutes 11 seconds

"    ."".    ."",   "

"    |  |   /  /    "

"    |  |  /  /     "

"    |  | /  /      "

"    |  |/  ;-._    "

"    }  ` _/  / ;   "

"    |  /` ) /  /   "

"    | /  /_/\_/\   "

"    |/  /      |   "

"    (  ' \ '-  |   "

"     \    `.  /    "

"      |      |     "  

"      |      |     "

Wow... that was sweet.  You are done now.

A good time had by all

A rather busy weekend round here. Friday night was Stolee, Stack, Matt, Steven, and Steven's friend Chris. As you might imagine, drunken hilarity ensued. At least I made a dent in the absurd quantities of vodka I've had lying around.

Managed to not be paying attention when my car hit 100,000. Damn it all. I guess I'll have to wait for 200,000.

I spent most of Sunday running errands around town; only to discover when I returned that my keyboard had inexplicably died in my absence. I think there must have been a power surge of some sort, as my cable modem and router were in strange, invalid states as well. But of course, it meant another trip back to the store. I'm just grateful that keyboards are the single cheapest component of a computer.

I would never have thought of it before, but the biggest drawback to living alone is that there's no one to ask you how your day was when you get home. Or, perhaps more to the point, I never thought I'd so quickly reach the point in my life where I want someone to come home to.

Scraperhands

So we had a lovely little ice storm yesterday and today. I live along a sort of meteorological Mason-Dixon line now, neither North nor South, where ice and sleet seem to be far more common than either rain or snow. When I went outside, there was an inch-thick layer of ice cladding on every twig of every tree. And of course, on my windshield as well.

It takes a while to get through that much ice, even after quite a bit of melting from the defrost within. At one point I was wielding a scraper in each hand, and bits of ice were flying to the air at such a comic pace that I realized I was reenacting a certain scene from Edward Scissorhands. And I got to do the same thing after work, thanks to a lazy sort of sleet all day. Oh, in theory I could have worked from home - most did - but I've been performance testing lately, and the performance lab's network is isolated from the company and world. Not to mention the roads were just fine, so I really didn't have a choice. I'll take the next snow day off.

Gripe: my windows, though large, elegant, and well-lit, are nevertheless useless on days like this, because it's entirely impossible to see the ground. I have to get dressed and go outside to find out what's happened overnight. A pain in the ass, I tell you.

My car will be rolling over to 100,000 miles in the very near future. Wish I owned a camera.

Stolee's coming this weekend, with possible cameos by Katie, Stack, Matt, Steven, and Rusty. What should I mix with orange and vanilla vodka?

The Shining, part 2

Back in Kansas City. A relaxing weekend in Colorado: eating, sleeping, and reading. As for Kingstone, like all good haunted houses do, it cooks up a few new idiosyncrasies each year:

• You know those Christmas village things, the lighted ceramic houses? Well, though we visit at the same time every year, for the first time Kingstone had them. To be more precise, they've taken over. I counted well over a hundred of the houses alone, with accompanying accessories probably surpassing a thousand, on every available surface. It must have taken days to put them all up. I'm not sure whether to be impressed or frightened.
• The Parlor of Blood (tm) turns out, on closer inspection, to have knicknacks from numerous countries and periods, not just the Civil War. In one display case, I spotted a woman's necklace decorated with the Nazi swastika.
• The overall amount of artwork has increased dramatically, with many former walls now crowded with artwork. I think my favorite is a photograph of Mother Teresa, surrounded on all sides by mountain landscapes.
• Speaking of portraits, all of the paintings of Mr. King have moved to different locations around the house, just to keep you on your toes. One now glares down at the master bedroom. I'm not sure how my parents slept at night.
• And speaking of Mr. King, it turns out that many of his clothes are still stored in certain closets around the house. It'd almost be a crime for him not to haunt the place.

Made it most of the way through the Baroque Cycle, somehow. Expect a review once I finish them. Assorted people are wandering through town this week. Let me know if you want to party this weekend.