And Ever, Amen

So, one of my favorite anime series is Revolutionary Girl Utena. Even my anime-inclined friends can't seem to get into it, and I'll freely admit it's pretty strange. But it gets weird in a very serious sort of way towards the end. It's almost as much of a mind-fuck as Evangelion, as a matter of fact. But anyway.

One of the show's major themes is eternity. More specifically, the question of whether anything in this world is truly eternal. Nearly every character is obsessed with finding a way to be remembered forever, or dwell forever in some happy memory, or find some way to cheat death. Not among those is the title character, Utena. And thereby hangs the tale.

We see, in flashbacks, that both of her parents died suddenly when she was very young. She hides in a coffin, wanting to die, wondering aloud why we are born at all if it is our destiny to die. She is visited by a "prince" who, somehow, breaks her depression. Utena's life is profoundly altered by the experience, but what did he show her?

(Minimal spoilers) Near the end of the series, we discover that Utena was presented with a vision of eternal suffering, that the prince himself was powerless to stop. The little girl vows that someday, when she's grown, she'll find a way to become a prince herself and save the one who is suffering. In adulthood this gives her an untouchable sort of nobility that all of the other characters admire; indeed, it's what makes her the heroine of the series.

I was going somewhere with this... oh, right. I've always seen this all as a metaphor for relationships, somehow. We fall in love with people in part because we hope it will last forever, even though we know it can't. And sometimes the suffering from a failed relationship can last far longer than the relationship itself. Some people despair, but others seem to have a reservoir of strength. I have a lot of friends I could file into each category. What is the difference between them, I wonder?

Pairwise

Note: this is a very old series of thoughts, and NOT inspired by any recent encounters or particular individuals.

One of the weirder things to discover about myself is my total inability to deal with couples. Even when two people I really like get together, the combined entity they represent baffles me utterly. Some sort of gestalt personality forms, and even if it's perfectly pleasant, I can't seem to deal with it.

So I find myself instinctively encountering people separately, trying to pry them apart from their partner. As if one-on-one is the only workable social configuration for me, the only way I actually have something to say. Three people is totally unstable, and four is too static - double dates usually feel terribly forced to me.

You think that being part of a couple myself - for the first time in a long time, I might add - might have changed things a bit. Particularly since I'm encountering other couples a lot more often than I did in, say, a place like Kauffman. But no. It might even have gotten worse. Theories as to what the heck is going on in my head are welcome.

Getting back into the Gate

Watched the first four episodes of Stargate end to end with Stolee last night. Despite all of the casting changes this season, I'm digging it so far. Though the extreme reliance on flashbacks is pretty strange.

Spoiler-type theory: the Ancients and the Ori parted ways all those millennia ago over philosophical difference. In particular, the treatment of less advanced races. Not a huge leap, I know, but it would explain a lot. It'll be interesting to see whether the Ancients will be willing to get involved if large numbers of their bretheren aren't obeying the rules.

Fortune cookie at dinner: "Maybe you can live on the moon in the next century."

Synchronicity

...is watching a days-old episode of Family Guy including a parody of A-ha's "Take On Me"; and then, an hour later, hearing the selfsame 80s song in its entirety, coming through the wall from my neighbor's apartment.

Happiness is...

Spoileriffic Harry Potter Post #2

More ideas/questions:

• Could one of the Horcruxes be inside Hogwarts? Perhaps inside that treasure room that Harry discovered?
• Dumbledore lowered the castle's barriers in order to enter by air; will the professors be able to restore it?
• What became of the children who Tom terrorized at the orphanage? Who else would have known of the cave's location?
• J.K. Rowling has stated publically that the barman in Hogsmeade is Dumbledore's brother; so why does Aberforth continue to remain anonymous within the books?
• Now that Dumbledore is dead, who is the secret-keeper for the Order? Relatedly, do Unbreakable Vows die with their makers?
• How exactly did Dumbledore come to have a phoenix as a familiar? And what was that wierd display about at the funeral? Rowling has refused to comment on these matters, as they relate to Book Seven. In any event, I think it extremely unlikely that Dumbledore will somehow return from the dead; indeed, he once said in no uncertain terms that it is impossible.
• Where did Dumbledore's new portrait come from? Does it have his memories?
• The pivotal chapter is named "The Lightning-Struck Tower", which is the image on the Tarot card of disaster that Trelawney mentioned a few chapters earlier. Why point out her correct prediction, when Dumbledore makes such an impassioned speech denouncing prophesy?

Spoileriffic Harry Potter Post

If you plan to read Half-Blood Prince at any point, don't read this post until you do.

So, there are a lot of unanswered, but suggestive, questions left at the end of the book. These are just my assorted harebrained theories, so take them with a large shaker of salt.

Who is R.A.B.? The likeliest (if not the only) answer is Regulus Black, Sirius's younger brother. He was a reluctant member of the Death Eaters, killed by Voldemort some fifteen years earlier for an unspecified betrayal. It fits the note: the author knows that he will be dead soon, and he must have been a Death Eater to address Voldemort as the Dark Lord.

And there is a small scene in Phoenix where the kids discover an un-openable locket while cleaning out the Black family mansion. Where is it now? There are four main possibilities: it was thrown out in the trash, Kreacher has it, it's still in the house, or Mundungus Fletcher stole it. Look for this to be resolved early on in Book Seven.

As for Snape, did he really betray Dumbledore? Personally, I think not. I can think of no other way to interpret their final scene but that Dumbledore was asking Snape to finish him - indeed, he was already dying from the poison. And he makes his plea before Snape has said a word, before he would have had any reason to suspect he was betrayed rather than saved. They can read one another's mind if they choose, don't forget.

Which would also explain why Dumbledore paralyzed Harry, to prevent him from extracting an instant and ill-considered revenge. Even as Harry chases Snape, Snape is still trying to teach him, to prepare him for his eventual battle. Look for some sort of... redemption, eventually, if not reconciliation.

So why did Dumbledore trust Snape so absolutely, anyway? He never told anyone, but if I had to guess, I'd say he had an Unbreakable Vow of his own with Snape. The exact details we can only guess at, but personally, I suspect that Snape swore to protect Harry Potter. Lily Potter's only child, don't forget, and it's strongly implied that she's the only person he ever really cared about.

Last but certainly not least, where (and what) are the Horcruxes? There's a good chance that the last one is Harry himself. Dumbledore himself says that Voldemort had one left to create when he went to kill the Potters, reserving them for particularly satisfying murders. He would have had little chance during his years of disembodiment, so if there really are seven, then there must have been a terrible accident...

It would explain a great deal - how Harry has his powers, can read his mind, speak Parseltongue, not to mention the prophesy. The only way that Harry will ever be able to kill Voldemort for good is by sacrificing himself in the process. Which, I admit, wouldn't be the most satisfying ending in the world, but hardly an unexpected one.

Those were just the Big Questions, I'll get to some of the small ones later after I've had a chance to refresh my memory...

By His Tivo Ye Shall Know Him

Since no one is particularly interested, these are the series I have my new DVR recording regularly:

• Family Guy
• Firefly
• Iron Chef America
• Stargate Atlantis
• Stargate SG-1
• Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

The Torment of Tantalus

So I've finally got Half-Blood Prince in my possession, yet because of various weekend commitments, I can't even crack it until at least Sunday. Oh, the irony!

When Condos Attack

So I got a lovely little missive from my landlord the other day: they've decided to turn my building into condos. My choices are to buy or leave, by March 31 of next year.

At the meeting this evening, the developer was rather vague about what the condos would cost, but their per-square-foot estimate would put mine in the $135,000 - $155,000 range. Ummmm, no. For that amount of money, in this city, I could and might buy a perfectly nice two bedroom house. So if you've never come to shack up at my downtown pad, the clock is ticking...

Special

Rodin

So I'm at the Nelson yesterday; slow afternoon, not much else to do. At one point I spot a tiny sculpture tucked into a corner at the far side of the room. I immediately think to myself, "Rodin!" And sure enough, it was.

Only afterwards did it occur to me how wierd that was. There are very few artists in any medium I could identify so readily. Even music - their voices, sure, but I can't much tell people apart from their musical style alone. My more musically-inclined friends will probably say I'm nuts, and they'd probably be right.

Mostly good things

Found out that I'm going to be a judge for the American Royal's annual BBQ contest, which I understand is one of the largest in the country. They say to expect about a pound of meat an hour. I think I can handle that

I'll miss you, Sandra Day O'Connor. More to the point, I'm pretty sure we're all doomed. At the very least I don't count on maintaining any of the civil liberties I've gained in the past twenty-odd years. The least-worst-case scenario is for Bush to pick a libertarian conservative, but I'm not holding my breath.

Fortune cookie received the other day: "Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues."

I've been up in Lincoln and Omaha this weekend, seeing Mark, April, Matt, Christy, and Kim. It's been so long since I've had someone to share stories with that I'd almost forgotten I had them. Good to see them all. And watch things explode.