Eureka!

I think I've finally figured out why my father is conservative (and possibly incidentally, Republican):

1) He is incapable of cynicism. I can't recall him ever finding something trite, saccharine, sentimental, overdone, insincere, or otherwise unworthy of being taken seriously.

2) He is unaware of the passage of time. He consistently behaves as if consumer prices, social attitudes, even musical styles have changed not at all since he was in his early teens. I know plenty of people who don't like the way things have changed since their youth, but few who simply ignore them.

3) He is incapable of becoming bored with things. The same dish tastes just as good the tenth time; the same joke just as funny the hundredth. The usual rules of operant conditioning fall apart; behavioral extinction never occurs.

Put them all together and I believe you have the perfect conservative. He will always be perfectly happy with whatever the status quo is; and he will always act to preserve it, because for him, it has never and could never change. But how do you talk to a person like that?